Page 34 of Vows Forged in Blood

I don’t like the thought and quickly tamp down the wild flare of terror at the idea of Revenants attacking the camp while I’m gone, of Dahlia there alone…

“They wouldn’t have known I would personally come to investigate this,” I point out, “not with so many other points ofattack happening up and down the borders. But even so, the pass is safe. The camp is safe,” I say firmly, more firmly than I mean to, almost as if I’m commanding it to be so, as if I’m trying to assure myself.

Elias misses nothing, as always, and arches a brow. I ignore him and turn my gaze back towards the Great Bear.She’s fine. The camp is fine.I find myself repeating the words over and over in my mind, like a calming mantra. The boats anchor on the bank a mile or so from the cave and we make our way swiftly and silently the rest of the way on foot, leaving the villagers behind with the boats to wait for our return. I strain my senses, reaching out to hear or smell or see any signs of Revenants.

“I don’t hear anything,” Elias says quietly as we move silent as death through the trees. As we finally approach the cave, I can smell them, Elias meeting my gaze and nodding.

“I don’t either, but the villagers were right: theywerehere.” The scent is old, not fresh, but it’s unmistakable.

“Ten, maybe fifteen,” Elias says as we step into the jaws of the Great Bear. “You four, first tunnel. You three, next. You five the next. Thaylin, you and the others take the fourth tunnel,” he directs the groups, sending them down various tunnels branching off from the main chamber. “Be alert, all of you.”

The soldiers draw their weapons and silently set off on their directed courses.

“Shall we?” I ask, a hint of a smile on my lips. Elias and I take the final tunnel together, as always.

“You know, if you keep luring me into dark tunnels alone with you, I’m going to start expecting things of a salacious and hedonistic nature, your highness.”

I do grin at that. “As if you could possibly handle me.”

“Please,” Elias scoffs. “You and I both know I am capable of handling far more than you could possibly give. Do you notremember the famed four-day orgy?Four. Day. Orgy, Alaric. Of which I was the star.”

“I recall,” I say, shaking my head. I hadn’t been a part of those particular festivities, but I’d heard enough stories from the week. We laugh quietly as we make our way farther and farther into the tunnel. It slopes down slightly, so we’re moving farther into the earth as we walk, the temperature dropping drastically the deeper we go. I have a sudden, searing memory of being buried beneath those layers of snow and ice, surrounded by a bone-deep cold that I’m not sure ever really leaves me, and scowl.Fucking Ahmed.

“Is she yours?” Elias asks after a few moments of silence.

I freeze. “I haven’t a clue what you might be talking about.”

“Oh fuck off, I know you better than anyone, Alaric. I know that mates are all but myths these days, but…I think she’s yours.”

I run my tongue over my teeth, not wanting to confirm the terrible truth, but a part of me sighs in relief, at finally having someone I can talk to about all of this.

“It doesn’t matter,” I finally say.

“Bullshit it doesn’t matter. You know as well as I do that mates are revered above all else, more than Consorts, more than honor or family or blood. If she’s yours then?—”

“She’s a human,” I snap. “My mate could not possibly be human.” No matter how many times I say it, it doesn’t seem to make the words true. Elias waves that a way as if it’s nothing.

“So, sheisyour mate. I fucking knew it! I knew it had to be more than just having fresh blood making you seem so different.” He purses his lips. “…but you’ve been spending every possible momentawayfrom her?”

I glare.

“I don’t understand, Alaric. Why?—”

“I have to,” I say quietly, all fight gone, my shoulder slumping in utter defeat. “I can’t acknowledge the mating bond, can’t do the things my instincts are clawing inside of me to do, can’t feel the peace I feel only when I’m near her.”

“But why?” Elias pushes. I stop and stare at my friend incredulously.

“You cannot possibly be asking that. I couldkillher, Elias. As easy as breathing, I could destroy her. The things that I want to do when she’s near, the way my instincts take over and I can’t even think straight…it’s terrifying,” I admit. “I’ve never felt so out of a control as I do when I’m near her. And if I did something to hurt her, if I…” I swallow hard and force myself to say the words, the ones I’ve been thinking of constantly, the ones that send cold terror down my spine. “If Ikilledher, I couldn’t bear it, Elias. I couldn’t live with myself.”

Elias studies me for a long moment, taking everything in and rolling it through his mind. I know he has to see the truth of my words, to understand my reasons for staying away, the reasons why I must suffer in silence and keep her safe.

“You wouldn’t,” he finally says simply. “I know you wouldn’t, Alaric.”

“You don’t,” I snap. “You don’t know how close I’ve come, the way my body tensed to strike, the way my fangs ached to sink deep into her flesh. It was like some demon overtaking my body, and I could barely hold the beast back.” I shudder and gnash my teeth. “I don’t trust myself around her,” I admit. “So, I have to stay away. It’s the way of all other Consorts and princes. It will be the same for us.”

“But—”

“Leave it,” I all but whisper, practically begging. I can’t bear to think of it, to imagine this torment for as long as she lives, and then trying to live without her afterwards, though I already know I won’t be able to.

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