Page 28 of Vows Forged in Blood

He stares for a moment longer, disbelief and fury warring in his expression, but then he takes a deep breath and the emotions disappear completely. I narrow my eyes a fraction, the complete wipe of his expression a little unsettling. He gives me one sharp nod.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, High General.” He rises from the chair and quickly leaves the room, his shoulders and back rigid with tension. I put my forehead in my hands, rubbing my temples, when I hear the door open again. I snap my head up, annoyed at the lack of a knock, but then blink in surprise.

“Bastian?” My brother smiles widely and holds his arms out as he strides across the room.

“Hello, baby brother.” I round the desk and he wraps his arms around me, slapping me hard on the back.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

“I just wanted to check in on you, see how you were settling in with the whole Consort business.” He eyes me. “It seems to suit you. You look…different. Better. The fresh blood does that, I suppose.”Or finding your fucking mate.

I cross to my sideboard and pour us two glasses of whisky. Handing one to him, I lean back against my war table.

“It’s taken some getting used to, but I’m figuring things out.”

“I knew you would,” Bastian says, beaming. One thing I have never had to wonder about is Bastian’s love or his pride in me. “And she’s adjusting to life here in the camp? Her Keeper has sent no complaints to the Magister.”

“Yes, as far as I know, she’s fine. She’s found…friends, among some of my soldiers. I think that has helped her transition to this new life.”

“Good, good. Most Consorts have entire courts at their disposal. It’s important for humans to have that, I think. To not feel alone.” I mull that over and take a long sip.

“So, you really came all the way here just to check in on me?” I ask, brow arched suspiciously. Sebastian smiles and toys with one of the figurines on the map.

“I did. The first Consort can be overwhelming for any of us, but your situation is quite unique.” After a few moments he adds, “And I’m avoiding going through the tithe and tax reports with Gerard.”

“Ahh, there it is. You came to escape your responsibilities,” I say grinning.

“Ok, ok, fine,” he says, throwing up his hands. “The main reason was skirting my responsibilities—some of them are so damned boring,” he says, sounding downright whiny. “But also to check on you,” he adds, pointing a finger accusingly. “Mostly to check on my favorite brother whom I love so dearly and want to see succeed in every way.”

“Oh fuck off,” I say rolling my eyes, but grinning. We decide to take a stroll through the camp. The men always enjoy getting a visit from the leader of the Clan and Sebastian is a gracious one, speaking and smiling and shaking hands.

“Have you ever heard of a mate…being human?” I ask, trying my best to sound casual.

He frowns. “Why would you ask?”

“One of the soldiers,” I lie easily. “He was absolutely convinced one of the humans at the blood house was his. Just blood drunk, I’m sure.” Bastian laughs.

“Probably right. The young ones can get quite infatuated with the donors, it’s true.” He looks thoughtful and adds, “I suppose itcouldbe possible. I read in the old histories of mates that were shifters from the wildlands of Melkane, before the Great Flood, of course. So, I suppose a human isn’tcompletelyimpossible, but I can’t imagine something much worse than that.”

My chest tightens. “Why’s that?”

“Well, you either don’t turn them, which means you only have a very finite amount of time with them. You’ll watch them grow old and die—and that’s only assuming they aren’t killed by something else before age takes them. And then you’d be lost. Or you attempt to change them and pray to all the gods it works and that when they die, it isn’t for good. I can’t imagine being able to bear it.”

The exact same thoughts I’ve had since the moment I realized Dahlia was mine. There is no easy answer. There is no right answer. There is no answer at all, I remind myself, seeing as how I can never actually claim her as mine. I can only stay away and watch her from afar, make sure she is as safe as happy as possible without truly being in her life, and do everything in my power to make that life a long one. It’s agony to even think of it, but it’s the reality of my life for the foreseeable future.

I think about telling Bastian about the arrow, but I don’t want to alarm him yet, not until I understand what it really means. So, I try to push all other thoughts away and just enjoy the time I have with my brother.

“Again,”I say in between ragged breaths.

Elias groans from across the ring, his chest slicked with sweat and heaving.

“You can’t be serious,” he protests, wiping sweat and blood and dirt from his brow. I give him a look that says that I’m, in fact, very serious. “We’ve been at it for hours, Alaric.”

It’s true. My plan to stay away from Dahlia is not going well. I’ve stayed away, that part has worked out fine, but it’s torture. Each day that passes, I’m finding it harder and harder to keep myself from going to her. My instincts rebel at the idea ofchoosingto remain away from my mate. When she’s in the same camp, in the same fucking house, and I still make the conscious decision to keep us apart—it feels like my chest might collapse under the strain. And not to mention the cravings that wrack my body day and night, the need to touch her, to taste her, to please her until her voice is raw from screams of ecstasy. My body is in an eternal state of torture, never being able to find satisfaction without Dahlia no matter how many times I may find release on my own.

It’s fucking agony.

So, I’ve done the only thing I know to do and that’s to throw myself into training with all my might, doing drills until my hands and feet bleed, until my muscles scream in protest. And still, it only helps to occupy my mind for a time. Still, I long to go to her, to do all manner of unspeakable things to and with her,but also just tobewith her. To sit beside her, to have her mere presence act as a balm on this scorching ache encompassing my entire soul.

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