Page 44 of Rejected Pretend Mate

Everyone started to laugh when Poppy walked over towards them. She had a ball in her hands as she looked up at us all with eager eyes. "Does anyone want to ball?"

"I will," I said, happily wanting to get away from the girls and their dirty minds. It wasn't that I didn't want to gush about things because I did. But we hadn't exactly figured out what wewere. Weslie and I hadn't stated this was all real. There were real emotions, but what happened when this was all over?

It didn't help that I was falling. I wasn't supposed to. I knew Weslie's reputation, and when this was over, he would go back to it, wouldn't he? I frowned, hating how I was still doubting myself even after Weslie told me how he felt. I wanted to cling to that, but a part of me wouldn’t let me. Deep down, I suspected it just wasn’t that simple.

I walked over with Poppy and Ivy and kicked a ball around. It was refreshing to hear their soft giggles as they each ran around trying to kick the ball. I suddenly remembered how I had thought I would have several kids by now. Seeing how far my life had landed from that dream pulled at my heartstrings. I might never have kids.

"You guys mind if I join?" I looked over my shoulder to find Weslie watching us. Poppy beamed and kicked the ball towards him. Weslie kicked it back, and Poppy giggled. She ran to him, and Weslie hoisted her into the air and spun her.

"Me too! Me too!" Ivy said, running towards Weslie. She waved her hands as she ran towards him, wanting to be lifted up as well.

Weslie hosted Ivy into the air and spun her around a little before bringing her back down.

"So, did you girls end up having a good day when you went up to the cabin?" he asked, bending down to their level.

I looked confused as Poppy nodded her head. "We did! Do you want to see pictures? I flew! Mom was so proud."

"Cabin?" I looked at them all, confused. "What cabin?"

Weslie nodded his head. "Ayden has a cabin that they go to on occasion. We've all been up there a few times. It's pretty nice and reserved. We could go down there for a trip."

And he knew about their trip. "How did you know they went?" I asked.

"He babysits," Poppy said. "For date night."

This was news for me. I hadn't realized he was so close to the kids. I didn't even know he babysat, and suddenly, I felt like I should. I'd been living with him. How had I not noticed before?

He kicked the ball, and Poppy and Ivy ran for it. The wind blew, and I wrapped my arms around myself. As I stared at him, I wondered if I really knew him.

"You're really good with the kids," I said, "Even nice enough to babysit."

He nodded. "Well, we all kind of babysit for each other. Everyone goes on date nights and asks who can watch the kids. The numbers have gotten a little slimmer since everyone has gotten married."

It brought up a lot of questions. Did he want kids? He did well with them, but that didn't mean he wanted them. And if he didn't, wouldn't he have them by now?

"Have you ever thought of having that? Marriage and kids?" The question came out quickly, and I realized how it sounded. I swallowed suddenly, wishing I hadn't asked.

Weslie nodded his head. "Yeah, I did. I wanted all of it. The marriage and children. The house and the yard. I wanted the picket fence dream with the big house and the dog running around." He waved a hand around. "All of this. I had wanted it. But it seems that might not be the future for me."

I felt like someone had hit me in the gut. He had wanted it. Which meant he didn't anymore. I wondered when it had changed. When had he wanted the future? And who had he wanted it with? All questions I knew were too personal, and I had no right to them.

I swallowed, feeling like I could cry. I knew better than to get emotional. Weslie wasn't the tying down type. Everyone knew this, everyone but me, it seemed. And this was fake. When this was all over, he would go back to his life, the life he had enjoyed.

I quickly shook my head, looking back at Poppy and Ivy. I tossed the ball to them a few times and then back to Weslie. He tossed it a little further out, letting them run after it.

"Well, then it's a good thing this is all fake because I certainly don't fit the bill for that if you had wanted it."

Weslie looked at me and frowned. "What do you mean?"

I shrugged. "I want that. I want the kids and the marriage. I want the good days and the bad days. I want all of us. So, it's a good thing this is all fake." I waved a hand between us. "Because you don't. So, when this is over...you can get back to the future you want, and I can start searching for mine."

Weslie stepped closer to me, his voice dropping slightly. "April, I wanted all of that with you. I'd pictured it. The house, the kids, and the marriage. Only with you. No one else but you. I've never had a relationship because I've always wanted you."

I swallowed, unsure if he meant it or not. Was this part of the fake marriage? Was everyone watching us? There was no way he meant those words. Maybe he saw the hurt in my eyes and wanted to make me feel better. But that only made it worse.

I suddenly felt like I needed space. I couldn't breathe because it felt like someone was choking me. If this was real, why couldn't we just be honest with one another?

"Excuse me," I said, turning and headed for the porch. Wendy had said we were allowed inside the house, and I was taking that chance. I needed a moment to collect myself.

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