Page 113 of Wreckage

I exhaled shakily.

“I wish I had told you sooner.”

Nothing. She was already halfway gone. I hoped we died together so she wasn’t scared and alone when it happened.

Hours later,I looked at the pill bottle, rolling it between my fingers. Tomorrow, I would mix them with water. She wouldn’t feel a thing. I’d force it to her lips like I’d been doing with water since she’d gone catatonic on me.

Neither of us would feel a thing. We’d…slip away. Together.

But tonight?—

Tonight, she was still here.

And I wanted to remember her even if she wasn’t here anymore. Even if it was just her body left behind.

I kissed her. She didn’t react. Didn’t move. She didn’t do anything but let me take what I needed from her one last time.

Carefully, I undressed her, taking in how prominent her bones were. I spread her legs, tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew I was a fucking monster. I’d established that much a long time ago.

I pushed gently into her body, sobbing as I did so. Her name fell like a prayer from my lips as I fucked her gently, her tiny body jostling with each thrust. I was careful. I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had.

Tears slipped down her motionless cheeks, the only sign she was still in there somewhere.

I came with a sob, filling her pussy one last time before I kissed her again.

“I love you, Elena. I love you so fucking much. Tomorrow will be better. I promise, baby. We can go to sleep, and everything will be better. Together. We’ll go together.” I sniffled and cradled her cheek. “I’ll go with you so you’re not scared and alone.” I held and kissed her for another long moment before I withdrew from her body.

I cleaned, dressed, and brushed my lips across her lips before slipping my clothes back on.

Then I sat down, took out a piece of paper, and wrote the last words I would ever leave behind.

To Whoever Finds Our Bodies,

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe I feel like I need to have last words or something. I want to go out having said what I feel for a change. So here it is. Troy was the best brother a guy could have. I love Elena with every fiber of my being. We tried so hard to make it. If I ever hurt anyone, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I never got to tell them in person. To mydad, if you ever see this, I love you. I was proud to be your son. To my mom, I wish I could see you again so we could make things right. I wish I had more time, but I don’t. Just know we tried. To Dean’s entire family, I’m so fucking sorry. May I be punished for my sins. I only wanted us to survive.

-Adrian

I set the letter on the chair, my hands shaking as I stepped away.

I dragged everything left that could burn—every piece of wood, scrap of extra clothing, or anything that might catch a flame—outside.

I built the biggest fire I could manage.

And then, I watched it burn.

The flames came to life in the night sky, licking it tenderly. It was my final shot. It was like Troy’s old Hail Mary passes on the football field. He’d throw the damn ball down the field and had never failed when he did it. He always got that touchdown.

I smiled, imagining him throwing one final pass and hoping that someone—anyone—would catch it.

I turned away from the fire and walked back inside.

I curled up beside Elena. Her breathing had grown more shallow. She may be gone before the morning. If she was, the plan stood the same. I’d follow her.

I kissed her cool forehead, whispering the only thing I had left inside me.

“I love you, butterfly. I wish I’d gotten the chance to show you just how much.”

I held her close and closed my eyes. If this was the end, I accepted it. I had no more fight left in me. If this was my last night on Earth, I couldn’t imagine it without her, even if she did hate me.

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