Page 107 of Wreckage

Smart.

Because I would.

He didn’t touch me. Didn’t try to hold me.

I was too shattered, too furious, and too disgusted to let him touch me. I gagged as another sob sounded out.

Adrian winced but still didn’t try to touch me.

The fire crackled beside us, filling the aching silence as I went quiet.

“I love you,” he murmured, voice hoarse. “And we had no choice. We couldn't lose you."

His words sent a wave of hot rage through me, and suddenly, I wasn’t crying anymore. I was boiling mad. I sat up abruptly, my breath ragged, my hands shaking as I clenched them into fists.

I turned my head, my voice like acid.

“There’s always a goddamn choice, Adrian.”

His jaw tensed, his eyes clouded with exhaustion and hurt, and his lips parted slightly before pressing into a thin line.

I didn’t let him speak. I didn’t want his bullshit excuses or his soft apologies. I wanted the truth. Or at least, I wanted to hear him say the worst parts out loud.

“You keep saying this was survival,” I spat, my voice trembling. “Butthis? This isn’t survival, Adrian.” I let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “This is your selfishness again. You didn't want to lose me, but what about what I wanted? This is hell, and I’ve been sentenced to it with the twodemons who spent their whole lives trying to hurt me for shit I couldn’t do anything about.”

He opened his mouth, his eyes widening at my words. He closed his mouth a moment later and didn’t interrupt me.

So I kept going. I was done holding it in. I let every ounce of pain, every injustice, every scar they had left on me spill out in ragged, unfiltered words.

“From the moment I entered your life, you hated me,” I said, my voice cracking. “You ignored me. You made me feel like I didn’t belong. Like I didn’t deserve the family I wanted so badly. T-The brothers I wanted so badly.”

Adrian visibly swallowed, his hands shaking.

“You both spent years making me feel like I was nothing. And now you expect me to accept this? To sit here and act like this is OK? It’s not OK, Adrian! It’s fucking not.” I let out a broken sob, my chest heaving, my nails digging into my arms. “Dean was our family. He was a friend.Hedidn’t deserve this. You knew I’d have rather died than partake in your fuckinghuman smorgasbord!”

I shook my head, biting out the final blow. “This was just one final way to hurt me. Congratulations. You fucking win. I give up. I want to fucking die. Let me this time."

Adrian flinched at my words. For the first time, I saw his mask break completely.

His face twisted in pain, in guilt, in something raw and deeply conflicted. Something completely broken.

I didn’t care. I didn’t want his pain. I only wanted him to feel mine. To feel what he’d done to me over the years with Troy. I was angry. They’d taken my choice from me. I understood they were trying to save me, but they knew I didn’t want this. If we survived this, it would be a horror we’d be saddled with until we took our dying breaths. I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t. I was a lot of damn things, but I wasn’t strong enough to bear this cross.

I collapsed back onto the raft, curling into a ball, my shoulders rising and falling with the deep sobs that kept coming.

I hated myself for saying what I’d said. I hated the way his breathhitched, for the way his hands trembled, for the way he looked at me like I had just ripped his heart out.

Part of me knew it wasn’t true. Part of me knew they had tried to save me, not hurt me. The anger I felt was easier than the cold, hard truth, though.

Despite it all, I couldn’t bear to lose them. Nothing had changed in that aspect, but maybe it needed to.

“You’re wrong,” Adrian’s voice was quiet.

I squeezed my eyelids closed, willing myself to ignore him, but his voice cut through my barriers.

“We love you, Elena,” he murmured, his voice laced with emotion. “And we want a future with you.”

I laughed bitterly, my hands fisting the blankets.