“I will enjoy it if you keep trying, but not now. You need to sleep, Detective, so that you can kick ass another day.”
“Hey, Jan?”
“What?”
“Maybe, when this case is over and I have more time, I’ll talk to your NASA doctor friend. See if he can help me get rid of the nightmares. Improve performance, like you said.”
“Great,” Janet said, and there was just enough light coming in from under the door for Ellie to see her eyes flash in approval.“When you feel ready, he’ll help you with that, definitely. It’ll be a smart thing to do, babe. Both in terms of job performanceandfor you personally.”
“Okay. I’m glad you’re for it.”
“Totally in favor, yes.”
“I was nervous about telling you.”
“Why?” Janet’s eyes widened in wonder.
“Why, indeed.” Ellie nodded. “Doesn’t make sense, I know. I suppose it’s because I haven’t shared this stuff with anyone else before. Quinn knows the broad lines of it, but she’s never had to see me wake up in tears in the middle of the night…”
“Ah, there you go, tensing all over again.” Janet hugged her tighter. “Do you really believe I’d think any less of you because of it? Watching you struggle with a nightmare?”
“No, I don’t. It just makes me cringe.”
Janet snorted, temper flaring now.
“Making the decision to work on yourself is so not‘cringe’as to not even be on the same planet,” she declared. “Ellie, it’s just brave, okay? As are you. You are so strong. Beautiful inside and out, and you don’t even see it. Oh buon dio onnipotente!”
Ellie was glad that she’d prepared when her lover threw her hands up and swore in Italian.
“One last thing before sleep,” she requested.
“And so bloody stubborn,” Janet groaned. “Okay, but only if it’s not cringe.”
“Sono così innamorato di te.”
The statement had its intended effect. Janet stared into her eyes, deep and intent, before flashing a slow and blazing smile.
“I love you too, baby.”
“It’s the craziest thing, uh?”
“I think it’s the most perfect thing, actually.”
“Hundred percent, yeah. But I mean, Google Translate.”
Janet laughed at that and kissed her soundly on the mouth.
“Wiseass. Now, silenzio! Sleep. I love you.”
???
They managed three-and-a-half hours before Janet’s phone went off. It was four a.m.
“Fox,” she answered, nice and clear.
“Doctor, it’s Jennifer from Security.”
It was quiet enough in the room for Ellie to hear the woman say this. Wide awake as well, she rolled off the bed and reached for her weapon, first, then her shoes.