“Ah…” Janet averted her eyes. “It makes me want some of the same thing.”
“Now you’re blushing.”
“I am, though you’re not supposed to mention it.”
“Oh, no? Well. Sorry. But you look cute when you do. Am I allowed to say that?”
“Exhausted, emotional, pre-menopausal women like me are not cute, Detective.”
“Yes, you are,” Ellie insisted with a smile.
chapter 13
She was, quite honestly, hiding behind a bit of teasing. And from the lingering glance that Janet shot her, Ellie thought she must be aware of it. She pondered the situation. The picture the beautiful surgeon was painting for her left very little space for speculation. She’d wanted comfort, and come to her. She said she was done with random play, and had brought her dinner at home. She was not scared to admit that she wanted some of what Quinn and Lia shared… Love, genuine and true. And then, she kissed me. Sure, Ellie had kissed her first. She’d been flirting. Not lying when she said it felt good, but still. Panic was not too far. It was the other side of the coin for her.
“How about you, Ellie?”
“Mmm? Sorry, what?” She’d drifted, and looked up to find Janet still watching her intently.
“What do you want?” she asked.
“Oh, that’s easy.” Ellie answered with a light shrug. “It was only ever one thing for me, wanting to be a cop. Earn a detective shield. Nothing else mattered and I never paid much attention to it.”
“Maybe not… But where d’you learn to kiss like that?”
“I don’t think I learned. Was it okay?”
“Oh, yeah…” Janet traced a soft finger over the line of her jaw, wetting her own lips and staring bluntly at her mouth as she did so. “You are good.”
“I guess you inspired me.”
“And smooth with it too.”
“Again, I’m not trying.”
Janet smiled, leaning close.
“I know, and that’s a very attractive thing about you. What if I wanted to see you again, Ellie? Would that be okay?”
Despite the fact that this was a natural follow-up question, Ellie still froze. She might have paled. Definitely hesitated. She would have said it was only brief and barely noticeable… But apparently, still long enough to send an entirely wrong message. She watched in confusion and dismay as all the light washed out of Janet’s brilliant gaze.
“Fair enough. I understand.”
“Wait.” Ellie jerked forward as she turned from her. “Janet. Hey, I’m—"
“No, no.” Janet laid a brief hand over her cheek even as she continued to move. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s alright, Ellie.”
Despite the gesture and her soft words of reassurance, her smile was still tinged with genuine sadness. It was obviously far from alright.Dammit!Ellie’s headache flared right back up.
“Listen. Jan.” Janet had already shrugged on her coat and was heading for the door. Not exactly rushing to get out of there, but pretty damn close. Ellie caught up with her, placed herself between her and the door. “Just wait a minute! I didn’t mean to make you—”
“I know,” Janet interrupted. “Really, it’s okay. It’s not you, Ellie, it’s me.”
Even with her lack of experience in such things, Ellie knew this was bullshit. At a loss, she passed a hand over her own face. Remained standing in place.
“I hurt you.”
“No.”