Page 42 of Rookie Days

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Ellie.”

“I just… What you said about Quinn and Lia’s connection, and the things that you might want…” Ellie struggled to find the best words, hit a blank, and settled for honesty. “I don’t know that I can do this. I’ve never even thought about it.”

“I understand.” Janet leaned close for another, surprisingly tender brush of the lips, before meeting her eyes and forcing a smile. “We’re good, I promise.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Look after yourself, Ellie.”

She walked away without glancing back.

???

The next day dawned grey and windy over the city of Lewiston, matching Ellie’s mood. Her night had been short and agitated. For the first time in almost a year, she dreamt of her sister. The regular nightmare was one that had plagued her almost every night when she was a child. Her eight-year-old twin would call to her in a hushed whisper, as if afraid that she might be over-heard. Her large grey eyes, the very same ones that looked back at Ellie in the mirror every morning, were always full of tears and stomach-churning fear.

‘Ellie? He’s got me! He’s going to hurt me! Please, help me!’

It was simply the accumulated stress of recent events, she understood, which brought all this back now. Nothing to worry about. Although, of course, she would keep it to herself. She got up extra early, intent on getting rid of lingering anxiety with arun. Then she showered, got dressed, and drove into work. Six a.m. found her on her second cup of coffee of the day, staring at the white board on the wall above her desk in the large office room that she shared with other detectives. There was no refined floor plan here, and no artful decorations. Just a jumble of sturdy metal desks, chairs, and filing cabinets, distributed haphazardly across the space. Ellie’s station was at the far end, close to the coffee machine and next to a window that leaked freezing cold air in the winter. A pretty honest bargain, in her opinion. With the constant ringing of desk phones, people coming and going, and a bunch of cops at work, the atmosphere could be chaotic in there at times. The room did not always smell the best either, and it was invariably too hot in the summer. To Ellie, though, it felt more like home than her own apartment. Right now, she had the place to herself too, which was nice.

“Good morning, Detective.”

Well… Almost to herself. As the woman who had taught her the benefits of an early start approached, carrying her own coffee and a fresh bagel, Ellie nodded warily.

“Lieutenant.”

Please, don’t hit me with awkward emotional stuff…But Quinn just glanced at the board, on which Ellie had stuck a photo of a smiling Bryn O’Connell and listed details of the case, then back to her.

“Any progress?”

Well, this was almost as bad.

“Not a lot,” Ellie was forced to admit, prompting Quinn to flash a sympathetic smile. “Slim pickings at the moment.”

“You gotta start somewhere, uh? Focus on what you’ve got. Let’s hear it.”

All that information was in her latest report of course, but Ellie was aware that Quinn preferred the oral version. She liked to hear the workings of a detective’s mind. Ellie obliged.

“I was reflecting on the nature and method of this crime.” She nodded. “Rape followed by lethal strangulation. It’s brutal, hands-on stuff, right?”

“You bet. And methodically planned as well.”

“Yes. So, I explored the ex-lover theory, examined possible motive, etc. But it doesn’t fit for me. The crime is too violent. Too extreme.”

Quinn leaned a blue-jeaned thigh on the side of the desk as she sipped on her coffee.

“Love and hate are two extreme emotions only separated by a very fine line,” she reflected. “They really are two sides of the same perspective. Now you just said it was hands-on stuff, and rape is often extremely personal. I think a vindictive lover would be entirely capable of this sort of crime.”

“In theory, I agree with you. But Bryn O’Connell was into casual sex and easy fun, not long-term romantic relationships and complications. She—” Quinn’s sudden dark frown brought her to a halt. “What?”

“You just lumped romantic love and complications into the same basket, Detective.”

Yeah. So what?Ellie swallowed the question, and the urge to tell her not to take things personally, which was certainly a wise move on her part. Anyway, Quinn seemed to come to the same conclusion.

“I know what you mean though. Carry on,” she instructed with a quick wave of the hand.

“Yeah, so I’m saying that the victim was not having the sort of passionate relationships which would lead an aggrieved lover to such intense and devastating feelings. The crime’s too big for the theory. In my opinion.”

---