Page 4 of Take Me Away, Cowboy

“I did not.”

“Ahem, all evidence points to the contrary, lil sis.”

“Sorry,” she said. “I’d love to read whatever you write; you know that. I used to beg to read your short stories in high school, remember?”

“I do. I also remember you stole my diary freshman year because you ‘wanted to read my stories.’” Paige laughed. She forgot how easy life back home could be, with Brad at least.

They got to a small ’04 Subaru, and Brad stopped. Paige cringed, her hands on her hips, her nose scrunched up like she’d stepped in dog poop, or worse.

“Don’t tell me you’re still driving this POS,” she demanded.

“What else would I be driving?” he asked, opening the trunk and shoving Paige’s oversized pack inside. He wouldn’t meet her steely gaze, though.

“I thought you were saving up for a truck?” she asked as he opened the passenger side door for her and made his way around to the driver’s seat.

“I was, but Julia wanted to upgrade her car since she drives farther to work, so we’re doing that for now. I can always get a truck.”

“You two didn’t elope while I was gone, did you?” Paige asked, only half-kidding.

“No, why?” Brad asked her. He turned the key, but the car wouldn’t turn over. Paige bit down hard on her tongue until finally, the car sputtered to life and Brad backed out of his spot. She tasted the metallic tinge of blood and ran her finger along a small nick in her skin from biting down too hard.

“Because let her get her own vehicle. She’s the one who keeps putting off an engagement, let alone a marriage. Why the hell are you paying for her new car? Especially when she only works part time.” There it was. Paige had opened the floodgates. They were talking about Julia now, whether or not Brad wanted to.

He looked down at his wrist, at an old Timex that he used for running in college. “Wow. I’m impressed. You made it nine minutes and fifteen seconds before you started in on her.”

“Are you telling me you’re happy? Because if you are, I’ll drop it, I swear.”

Brad looked at her sideways, keeping his eyes on the road. His smirk said he didn’t believe her for a second. She would have laughed, if it wouldn’t have changed the moment. She needed to get this off her chest now, in the car, so she could enjoy the rest of her week with him and her parents.

“I’m paying for her car because she’s been patient with me while I pursue writing.”

He avoided her question about whether or not he was happy. Interesting.

“Bullshit,” Paige said. Brad looked over at her, his mouth open wide. “Watch the road,” she added.

“Excuse me? What do you mean, ‘bullshit’?” His knuckles went white on the steering wheel. “Paige, be careful here,” he warned her.

“I’m not trying to be a dick, Brad, but she’s taking you for all you’re worth. While she’s barely contributing to the heating bill in summer with her sheet-folding, you’re working full time, year-round, and writing on the side trying to pursue your dreams. You run, you teach, you volunteer, you write, and she clocks a few hours chatting with customers. Then, at the end of the day, you cook her dinner, am I right? All of that leaves her plenty of time to eviscerate you online. Am I wrong, Brad?” Whew. She was out of breath.

“Jesus, Paige. You’re home ten minutes and you’re already telling me how fucked up my life is, how I need to break up with the woman I’ve been with for almost fifteen years. Do you ever just calm the hell down? Can we ever just enjoy each other for a minute without you having to change something about me?” Brad ran his hands through his hair, which she just noticed had grown longer. He hadn’t cut it since she’d left for Turks apparently. She hated that before she’d paid attention to the man sitting beside her, she’d tried to fix him. It had always been her fatal flaw. No one was ever good enough.

“I’m sorry, Brad.” She meant that, too. She wished she could go back on the plane and start over.

“But…” He made an exaggerated flourish with his hands, sarcastically encouraging her to continue.

“But nothing. I’m sorry. I like the hair, by the way,” she told him with another shrug. It was the best apology she could muster. Luckily, Brad understood that kind of thing wasn’t her strong suit. He was the emotional, invested sibling, not her. It didn’t mean that she didn’t care, she just couldn’t figure out how to show it.

“Thanks,” he said. Her racing heart slowed down when the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. “I’m seeing how I like the Thor look that seems to be all the rage these days.”

Paige opened her mouth to reply but Brad held up his hand, a tic they’d all picked up from Marge, their mom.

“Before you get mean again and comment on my lack of Thor-like muscles, I want to stop you. Somewhere in there,” he said, tapping her on the head, “is my sweet, loving sister who used to say such kind things to everyone she met. Find her again, please? Preferably in the next few minutes before I’ll be forced to make you walk the rest of the way home.” He smiled, but his words cut Paige. She was being a world-class bitch right now, but she didn’t know why.

She was happy to be home even though it was only temporary, or rather, especially because it was temporary, but she was anxious, too. This was the first trip home where she didn’t have at least some idea of what came next, and even though she was nothing if not spontaneous, she always had an exit strategy. Her personal hell would be sitting, stagnant, no impending travel on her horizon, no work she could sink her teeth into, on her parents’ farm for months on end.

“I’ve been horrible, haven’t I?”

“It’s fine, kiddo. I just haven’t seen you like this before. You okay?”

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