Page 61 of Take Me Away, Cowboy

“Me? You’re going to throw this on me?” He tried to keep his voice even, but his trembling hands betrayed him. He balled them into fists, kept them pressed to his sides, afraid of this side of himself. It’d been a while since he’d gotten this pissed, but like Bruce Banner, what came next if he didn’t slow his roll was a monster he wouldn’t wish on anyone. “You’ve got a suitcase in your closet you haven’t unpacked yet, despite the fact that you’ve been here amonth, papers that tell me you’re all but ready to zip up and ship out, and you’re gonna be mad atmefor trying to write you a note about dinner?”

He shook the papers in her face, dangerously close to making contact. He ignored the fear etched on her face, tried to pretend it wasn’t because he scared the shit out of her. But he knew better—he’d been there before and swore he’d never get there again.

Owen took a step back, lowered his hands and put the papers on the bed. He took in a deep breath, sucked it all the way in his lungs and released it just as slowly. When his anger subsided, sadness slid in its place.

“I just want to know what it is we’re doing here,” he sighed. He couldn’t stand to look at Paige’s bottom lip that quivered, but he couldn’t look away, either.

“I thought that was supposed to be my line,” she shot back. She might be scared, might be on the verge of tears, but she wasn’t going to budge an inch, give him anything.

“I’m serious, Paige. What is this?” He gestured his hand between them.

She only shrugged.

“I don’t know. It was fun, isn’t that enough?”

With one use of “was” she’d shifted their relationship into the past.

“Fun? It was more thanfun, Paige. I meant what I said yesterday when I told you I’d be there to support you through this. That I’m not going anywhere. Did you mean it? When you said you weren’t either?”

“I meant I’m here for a little bit, at least. Can’t that be enough?” Her voice wavered.

“Sure. For now. But what happens when I fall for you even more than I already have? Am I just supposed to be here waiting at your beck and call every time you parade back through town? Am I supposed to be grateful I get any of you at all?”

Paige looked stunned at his admission. He wished he cared enough to put his own grief aside to support her choices. Wished he could see through the red to what he was doing to her.

“Listen, Owen, I never promised you anything when you and I started this, even before the injury. And I can’t promise you anything now. Don’t you see? I’m a doctor without a practice right now. Who knows where I’ll find one?”

“Did you even try looking here?” he asked her.

“That’s never been my plan, Owen. You know that.”

“So, you aren’t denying that you’re ready to go?”

“I haven’t filled in the applications, have I?” Her arms crossed over her chest, in defiance or fear Owen couldn’t figure out.

“But you’re going to, aren’t you?”

When her gaze dipped to the floor, his heart sank there as well. Paige nodded.

“How can I not? They’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” With her words came the unspoken truth.Hewasn’t what she wanted. Not for anything more than a fling.

“Were you even going to tell me you were leaving?” His voice came out in a whisper, all he had left as he sat there watching the end unfold around him, helpless to stop it.

“How cruel do you think I am?” Without her normal brushing of eye makeup Owen could see the pain, the determination in her eyes.

“I’m not going to answer that right now because I think we both know where that would get us. I’ve got to go, Paige. I hope you get what you’re looking for.”

That was the last time he’d tell her that refrain. Something inside him broke, admitting that to himself.

Before she could say anything that would convince him to stay—even his name on her lips would have had him spinning around, running to her, not letting her go until he had to—he snatched his hat and wallet off her bed stand and walked out the door.

It wasn’t until halfway home that his tears came, hot and fierce. He wasn’t so much sad as crushed. And pissed. He’d finally let down his guard, let someone in, and it had backfired like a faulty rifle, leaving the same amount of carnage.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out, unable to see the number on the screen. He wiped at his eyes at the same time he answered the call.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, man. I’m calling to see how your afternoon went.”

---