Page 42 of Take Me Away, Cowboy

THWACK… THWACK… THWACK.

It was too reminiscent of his past, of the other losses he’d incurred.

He’d talk to someone about it, but who? There was no place but the farm to let out the chemicals in his system that told him danger drew near.

Flee, they told him from experience.Run like you’ve never run before. Get away from this place or you won’t make it out alive.

Reason chimed in.You’re fine, it told him.You’re not only alive, but healthy and in the best place you’ve been financially, and professionally.Still, the feeling nagged and he was quickly running out of board to pound.

Over the last three days, he’d redone every square foot of the fencing to his property, shoring up the posts and replacing weather-worn rails and razor wire. Except for the last twenty feet, which he was using as a battering ram for every pent-up emotion he’d had since he got out of the Marines a year ago. Losing his three Marine brothers—BAM!Then getting told he’d need to take a medical retirement—WHACK!After which he’d been told he couldn’t even act as a contractor for the Marines—THUD!

Don’t forget Paige, his heart told him, beating hard against his chest whenever he thought of her.WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.

What was he thinking, falling for a girl who couldn’t stick around? Even before the accident and the devastating news at the hospital, he’d known she would leave Banberry eventually. Even now, hearing that this incredible woman had cancer—cancer!—he cared for her more than he wanted to admit. He also knew how much good that would do him, since she’d be gone as soon as she got the green light from her physician post-surgery.

BAM. BAM.

A low growl emanated at his feet. Penske, Marge and Alan’s pup, aggressively tore at Owen’s discarded flannel shirt that fluttered in the wind. Normally he would have taken a break, tossed a stick for the little guy, but his sour mood didn’t include puppies, not even adorably obnoxious ones like Penske. He only served to remind Owen of Marge and Alan.

Which, of course, was a beeline to thinking about Paige.

Did he really think one lovemaking session—albeit a damn good one—would be enough to entice her to stay? Maybe not, but he’d seen the glint in her eyes when she looked out over the valley a few days ago.

She had a connection to this place. If he could nurture that, maybe she’d see Banberry through his eyes and stay. It had almost worked, until Justice had thrown Paige from her back.

He’d thought that was as close to a tragedy as he’d seen, but now, working on the last ten feet of the fence, he was certain it had saved her life.

THUD. THUD. THUD.

Except, now she’d always see this town as the place that gave her two broken ribs and cancer, and she’d never think of him as anyone other than a one-night stand and the guy who brought her to the hospital. Not to mention her pissed-off brother who blamed Owen for the whole thing.

Owen had panicked when he’d heard Justice whinny and the hard thump that had followed. He’d jumped off Ares and been at Paige’s side in seconds, his heart racing and his hands trembling. Both of those things still happened when he imagined Paige lying on her side, limp and pale, like a shitty movie he couldn’t pause.

He’d carried her down the mountain on his lap, careful to keep Justice on a lead that gave them plenty of berth if she spooked again. He’d called Brad the second they got to the valley and her brother had met them at the house angry—and scared, Owen now understood—treating Owen like a man that had attacked his sister instead of the concerned friend he’d been.

He’d never have let anything happen to her on his watch if he could help it. But he had, and the guilt of that was much worse than anything Brad could throw at him.

Penske barked at the offending sleeve of the flannel, rearing back like it was going to attack, but when the wind picked up, raising the fabric like it was possessed, he keened and hid behind Owen’s boot.

“Stupid mutt,” Owen growled, feeling immediately guilty for taking his piss-poor attitude out on the innocent animal.

Unfortunately, he was pissed and no amount of roughhousing with Penske could fix that. Good whiskey might, but it was still early. Besides, he didn’t think even hard alcohol would erase the memory of the accident.

Lord knew he’d been trying to make it. He’d gone through an eighteen-pack in the three days since….Since.

Alan told him he was grateful for the accident, tried to make Owen see that without it, Paige might not have lived to see her thirty-fifth birthday. It was true, in the way science is true whether or not someone believed it to be. But that didn’t mean that he believed Paige lucked into getting hurt so they could find the other ways her body was killing her. No, Owen had taken Paige up to the top of a cliff with the sole intention of showing her all the reasons she should stay in Banberry—selfish reasons that benefited Owen and Owen alone—and was so hell-bent on that mission he hadn’t prepared for the one thing that could screw the whole plan—the weather.

He deserved getting told to shove off by her. She had family to take care of her—what the hell would she need him for?

She didn’t know that he’d gone back later that night to talk some sense into her, explain his feelings and make her see the truth in them, only to hear her mumbling about him in her sleep. Telling him to leave all over again, that she couldn’t have kids, so what good was she to him now? Mumbling about Aurelie coming to save her from this hick town.

He reached in the box of nails only to find it empty. Frustrated, he heaved the box against the fence with a grunt, unsatisfied at the way the cardboard sailed through the air and lightly tapped the wood beam it was aimed at, rather than shattering into a thousand pieces the way Owen wanted it to. Again, science knew better than emotion.

“Taking it kinda rough on the fence, there, aren’t you, son?”

Owen turned around, hammer in one hand, the other woefully empty.

“Mr. Connors,” he said by way of greeting Paige’s dad. He was simultaneously surprised to see him, and embarrassed to be caught manhandling his fence.

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