The air is too thick, too heavy—clogged with the echoes of screams that still vibrate in my bones.
I do not remember how hard I swung the whip.
But I remember the sound.
The sharp crack of leather against flesh.
The way the man’s body jerked, spasmed.
The way I did not stop.
The way Varkos watched me.
The way he smiled.
My stomach twists, a nauseating churn of sickness and something worse.
I need to get out of here.
I do not remember how I reach my chamber.
But suddenly, I am inside, and the door is locked behind me.
My breaths come in short, frantic bursts, my hands shaking as I press them against the wooden frame.
I will myself to be still.
To be calm.
But my body betrays me.
The first heave comes fast, a brutal twist of my stomach that sends me to my knees.
I barely make it to the basin in the corner before I empty what little is left inside me.
Pain burns through my throat, my ribs aching as I gasp, cough, spit.
But it does not stop.
Because it is not just my body that is rejecting what I have done.
It is something deeper.
Something rotting inside me.
I collapse back onto the cold stone floor, pressing my forehead against it, letting its chill seep into me.
I am shaking.
Not from fear.
Not from weakness.
But from something worse.
From the realization that he was right.
Varkos’s words coil inside my skull, whispering, taunting.