Page 23 of Nyanine's Divide

The rest of my childhood and life flashes before my eyes, right up until I meet Ayira, and it jolts me awake, causing me to sit up in a panic. Seuke is there in an instant, his arms around me. “It’s all right, my love, breathe, I’m here. You’re safe.”

I collapse into sobs, clinging to him for comfort. This is incredibly messed up, absolutely fucked up on every level. I learned mere weeks ago that my mother used another man to conceive me so I could follow her legacy, that much was clear.Despite knowing that I was but a means to an end for her, I still thought that on some deep level, one she hid away, that she loved me. The one moment I saw hope in her eyes, she must have seen Ayira in me for a brief moment, remembered her happiness, but then she remembered me. I was nothing more than her puppet. No love, no kindness, no connection. Just a puppet for her to use her magic through.

And what about Ayira? What happened to her after that night? She witnessed her father’s murder at the hands of her mother, was left alone on some dirty planet in the middle of nowhere, with no one to care for her? How the hell did she survive that? Who helped her? Who raised her? I have so many questions, but at the same time, I can’t stomach it.

Jumping up, I spot a bathing room and rush inside, the contents of my stomach purging themselves from my body. I can’t breathe. My throat burns. I collapse against the wall and sob some more.

My emotions swirl from being purely and righteously pissed off to being sympathetic, to being disgusted, to being absolutely saddened and heartbroken. I can’t tell which emotions are mine, what are right to feel.

I’m beyond pissed at my mother. She used me for her own benefit. She merely wanted me to follow in her footsteps, to somehow provide her with the magical boost she searched for until her death, and when I failed to be her conduit of sorts, she brought her rage down upon me. I was just a tool and nothing more.

I’m disgusted by her actions, disgusted at the sight and thought of her murdering her lover, and disgusted that she could hurt her first child so. Disgusted that she could use people, her own children, in such a callous manner. She cared for no one, not even her mate, her first child, me. She only cared aboutpower. The goddess was right, the priestesses in our past had become greedy, lazy, and power-hungry.

But more than all that, I’m sympathetic, saddened, and heartbroken for my sister. What she endured, what she went through, she was too young to understand it. She may not even remember it now, but I have no way of knowing until I speak with her. But how can I speak to her about this, the most traumatic night of her life, the night that everything was taken from her. Her father murdered, her mother lost in a rage, and she was left alone on a planet that looked about dead.

I wish I could go back, save her, make it all better. I wish that I could change how things went down. Perhaps Mother was sick, ill with some sort of mental disease that made her crazy and power-hungry. If she was, I wish I could have cured her for Ayira’s sake. Now we’re both broken and abandoned children searching for a home in a universe that was out to torment us.

She seems to have found her place, and I suppose I’ve found mine. There’s some joy that’s come of all this heartache. We’ve found our true mates, made good lives for ourselves, and are making new friends and connections. We’ve found each other. Perhaps we can build a relationship and bring her back into the fold of our world, show her what she’s missed by growing up away.

But is she meant to take my place if she returns? Am I not the rightful priestess if she’s on the planet? Will her powers return? Does she even have any left? What the hell am I going to do? What is the right move here?

Seuke hands me a cup of water, and I drink it greedily, needing to rinse the vomit from my mouth. It soothes my throat, and I breathe deeply, hoping to control myself and talk to him.

“You don’t need to tell me now, my love. Whatever you’ve been through has clearly been difficult. Take the night to process, sleep, and we’ll have breakfast with Kari in the morning. We candiscuss it then. Perhaps your family will have words of wisdom for you.” He brushes my hair back, soothing me as I cling to the little cup in my hands.

My eyes lift to his, the silver soft and radiating his love to me through the bond. He’s right, I need to soak this in and see what my options are. I don’t have to do anything right this moment. I open my arms, and he gingerly lifts me, carrying me to bed. He removes my cup, placing it on the side table, before crawling into bed with me and wrapping me protectively in his arms.

“All will be okay, my love. You aren’t alone, and we have more family now to help us through these things. Whatever you go through, we’re all here for you. Rest now.”

Tears drip from my eyes to the pillows below, the bed one of the softest I’ve ever slept on, and I scoot back into my warrior and lover, needing more of his comfort, wishing my mate was here to warm my front and squeeze us together. I silently cry until my body gives up, and I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep until morning.

Chapter 17

Vahru

I’m just finishing up the bacon as Willa finishes up the pancakes for us. The first is just big enough for our two pans, and we quickly plate things up as a knock on the door draws all our attentions. Tavionna and Seuke wave as Kosiiba lets them in. Kari quickly pours each of them a cup of tea and ushers them in to sit.

“How are you feeling, Tavi? I was worried after that vision, it seemed so intense.” Kari sits beside Tavionna, a hand on her arm in comfort. Jeff lounges quietly in a chair near the window, watching everyone. Cruzig and Kosiiba head outside to the back porch to sit and give us the room.

My cabin isn’t large, but it’s enough for several people to sit around comfortably. It’s simple but enough for me. We may need to expand one day if we are to have children as the onlyother rooms are my bedroom and bathroom. Willa and I pick up the food and head for the kitchen counters so we can portion things out and make plates.

“I’m okay, sister, don’t worry. It was intense, and I learned a lot. I have a lot to share with you all, if you’re willing to listen. The advice you may have would be deeply appreciated.” Tavionna’s voice is small, nervous, and my stomach unsettles at that. Whatever it is that she saw has shaken her to her core, you can see it in the way she carries herself today. She’s lost her confidence. Today, she isn’t the strong high priestess we’re used to, she’s our sister, a scared woman with a lot on her shoulders.

Willa and I hand out plates carefully, Willa introducing herself to Tavi and Seuke, before we all sit down. I sit in the chair opposite the couch, allowing Tavi, Kari, and Seuke to have it. Willa sits on the arm of Jeff’s chair.

Tavionna’s gaze shifts to mine, and she gives me a meek smile. “I’m truly sorry we didn’t get the chance to talk yesterday, us and Criido. I really was looking forward to working through things, but I suppose we’ll reschedule.”

“No need, daughter, I am here.” Father waltzes in like he owns the place and settles beside Kari on the couch. There’s just enough room, and I roll my eyes at him. Nakarra nods at us before joining his fellow guards and hunters on the back porch.

“Father, welcome. Breakfast?” I cock an eyebrow at him, and he chuckles.

“Sorry to stop by unannounced, son, but I knew I needed to be here for this conversation.” He turns his attention back to Tavionna, smiling gently at her. “What happened yesterday could not be helped, love. We do not harbor any negative feelings. If we are to move forward in our relationship, let us be here to support you in this time of need. Tell us what happened.”

Tavionna’s eyes water, Seuke removing her plate from her lap to hold her hands. Her lip wobbles for a moment before shetakes a deep breath to speak. “My visions told me about Ayira, who she is, where she came from, what she means. She’s my long lost sister, the rightful priestess of our people.” Her tears fall in earnest as she completes her sentence, and Kari gasps.

I set my plate aside as I lean forward, eager to hear more. I had no idea that Tavionna had a sister, it wasn’t mentioned before. She’s not my sister, not by blood, but by relation to Tavionna, in a roundabout way. I’m already struggling to grasp the concept of Tavionna being my sister, but to add to our family? I’m absolutely struggling to grasp this. Still, I remain open to listening because this twist is one I did not expect and need to hear more about.

“Tavi, honey, no. You are the rightful priestess! Just because she was born first and is of your blood does not mean she gets to simply take your place. You trained for this, your goddess blessed you, she wouldn’t simply take that away. Ayira seems to have no idea who she is in relation to your world and life. She’s not right for this position if she has no concept of it.” Kari soothes her, rubbing her back and grabbing her hand, her words gentle and soft.

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