Page 33 of Demons of Eden

“One last thing,” he calls as we’re turning to leave. “I have a question for you, if you don’t mind.”

“Ask away, Marbles. It’s only fair,” I tell him, grinning as I use the name to convey friendliness this time, instead of my irritation.

He returns the smile with one of his own, one more genuine than his prior expressions, then asks me, “This demon you’re looking for, do you care for him?”

“Why is that rel?—”

“Yes,” I answer, cutting off Rio’s rude interruption with my firm response, grateful when Torrin assists me by yanking him down the stairs with him. I may barely know Ash, but we definitely had a connection, and now we’re having a baby, even if he doesn’t know it yet. How could I not care, just a bit, for thefather of my child? “I do care about Ash, and I swear I’m looking for him for good reasons. I only asked for help from hunters because I didn’t know where to begin searching for a demon on my own.”

“I see,” he says, seeming contemplative for a moment. “Then I’ll hope to encounter him so I may pass your message on. Good luck with your search, Eden.”

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The glorious smell of fresh coffee is almost immediately ruined by the cruel words from my so-called best friend's lips, “Can we make those both decaf, please?”

“It’s just one coffee,” I say petulantly as we take our sadly decaffeinated drinks over to a quiet corner table. After taking my seat, I find myself pouting down at the mug while Suvi gives me her sternest ‘no arguing with the healer’ face.

“You know you’re supposed to be avoiding caffeine,” she says when I stubbornly refuse to take a sip. Usually I’d try and guzzle the coffee down while it’s still hot enough to burn my throat, but considering this drink is missing its magic ingredient, there’s not much point. Does anyone truly drink coffee solely for the flavour? I don’t believe it. Coffee’s gift to the world is in its caffeine content.

“Do we even know for sure if caffeine is going to hurtthisbaby? It might be different,” I whisper, mindful of any witches who, like us, may have decided to visit the mostly human-filled cafe.

It definitely wouldn’t be a good idea to be overheard admitting to carrying a borderline-illegal hybrid baby. I’m sure if they could have made it a law to ban them, they would have.The council probably only held back because it wasn’t worth the side-eyeing they’d get from all of the other species if they did. While demons are disliked by several species, none have quite the torrid history our kind has with them. Humans are probably second in that respect, though they tend to have issues with mostsupernaturalspecies, as they’d call us. Though the hate has slowly melted into a more general mistrust and avoidance over the centuries, with some exceptions.

“That’s not how it works, Eden,” Suvi says with a sigh.

“Are you sure? Like, really sure?” I squint, trying to picture what caffeine might do to a demon baby. I mean, I can’t even evict the little thing with either magic or medicine, so what the heck is coffee gonna do? Not that I really want to evict them now, but still. If it’s not possible, what could a tiny little bit of sweet caffeine goodness really do?

“Yes,” she answers, sounding exasperated with my persistence. “While the baby’s nature means the risk of it causing a miscarriage is practically nil, caffeine can still pass through the blood-placental barrier and?—”

“No. Nope. No, thank you. Please, don’t start talking about blood-placentas and stuff,” I cut her off pleadingly. “I promise to be good and not drink caffeine, even if I am more exhausted than I’ve ever been before in my entire freaking life. Just don’t make me endure medical talk, I beg you.”

“You’re so dramatic. Besides, there's still a hint of caffeine in decaf; it’s just a tiny amount. Also, I hate to have to say it, but you really should start learning more about the process your body is going through,” Suvi says gently. “I know it’s hardly fair. You have so much less time to learn and prepare for their arrival, but it’s important you do. You don’t want any unpleasant surprises before, during, or after their birth. What if the baby has tongue tie and can’t nurse? Or if one of your nipples is inverted? Or you can’t produce milk at all? What if the babyis breech? Have you thought about pain management? Or lack thereof?”

Her words ignite a burning anxiety in my throat that has me choking on the tiny sip of coffee I finally took. Despite it obviously being her concern rather than judgement prompting her to say all of this, it still sparks the terrible thought that I’m not doing enough. That I’m failing this baby and myself by not researching more. Hell, when it comes to being prepared, I haven’t bought one freaking baby-related item yet. I’ve told myself it’s all because they’re a demon-hybrid child, and who knows what they’ll possibly need…but surely some things are universal? I’ve been so focused on the idea of hunting down the sperm supplier, I haven’t had room in my head for any other thoughts.

Will they need a normal crib? What about blankets, toys, and cute little socks…? Will it even have normal toes!?

“Oh my Goddess. I’m so sorry,” Suvi exclaims, her hand reaching over to grab mine and squeeze it while suddenly apologising for some bizarre reason. I glance down, noticing my tears as they hit the table beside our joined hands.

I’m crying. Shit. Of course I am.

“D-Don’t be sorry.” I sniff as I pull my hand away to wipe my face with a napkin, attempting to dab away the stupid tears and regain some control over myself.

“I made you cry. You hate crying.”

“My ridiculous hormones made me cry, not you,” I disagree, still crying despite my efforts to stop. “You’re only trying to care for me and to get me to care for myself…” It’s something I’ve never been great at, so how the hell am I going to take care of someone else? Is it really my hormones causing the overwhelming emotions or is it that I’m only now realising what a terrible mother I’m going to be?

Sure, I know to avoid alcohol, caffeine, and sushi, but what else am I supposed to be avoiding or consuming more of? What does a demon birth even look like? I know that epidurals are commonly used in both human and witch labours to ease the pain of the process, but will it work on me in my current state? Or will the baby’s magic interfere with that too? How is it different from a normal pain reliever, anyway? I mean, I think there’s maybe a really big needle involved…

“While it’s perfectly normal for your emotions to feel more intense during pregnancy, I still should have approached this differently,” she says sincerely, turning to glare at the occupants of the closest table who’ve paused to watch the show. They wisely turn away, and she sighs, the exhale somehow conveying both her irritation and regret. “And definitely not while we’re in public.”

“You were right, though. I know nothing about what’s happening to me. I did some general research during the first few days, but then I…I just…” I trail off, not wanting to make excuses for myself. Not when I should be doing so much more than I am. I’ve already let them down, and they’re not even here yet.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You can’t expect to become an expert on a topic overnight. Especially not on one that has no experts.”

“It’s not that I think I should know everything. It’s that I essentially know nothing.I don’t even know how an epidural works!”I reply, losing volume control of my voice as I speak. Mortified, I hide my rapidly flushing face in my hands against the table, though it doesn’t help much when I can feel the judgemental eyes turning our way.

That was so stupid. Why would I do that?

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