Page 30 of Deliver Me

She’d have to do her best to describe it for him. His reaction to that would be worth the embarrassment she’d felt when he had been explaining what she should do.

“You’ll need to find your clit,” he’d whispered.

“Gabriel,” she’d hissed back. “You can’t say that word.”

“I’m going to get you used to hearing more words than that,” he promised. “I want to hear you say it when you tell me all about touching yourself.”

“I can’t say that!”

“Youcanbut I can wait till you’re ready.”

Now she thought she’d be willing to say it a hundred times in gratitude just for him helping her find it. She’d never imagined it was possible to feel such pleasure, and she was soon biting down on her lips to keep the moans quiet. Gabriel had told her that it might be difficult to orgasm the first time, since she was unfamiliar with her body.

Instead, she wondered if she should be ashamed of how quickly it happened and how much she wanted it. It washed overher like a rising tide, cresting on a peak that made her shake and tremble. It was the closest she had ever felt to heaven, an odd thing to happen in this little slice of sin. When it was over, she was alone, but she felt more connected to God and to Gabriel than she ever had before.

Chapter Thirteen

Winter

Mia had expected to feel relieved when the semester ended and Christmas break finally arrived, but she had things on her mind that were more unpleasant than finals. She’d put off having this talk with her dad for as long as she could but just the thought of it made nausea swim in her stomach.

“You can do this, baby,” Gabriel told her the second time that week. “You don’t have to tell him about me, and I understand why you wouldn’t, but you have to tell him about college. He’s paying for your tuition so he’s going to find out eventually and I know you don’t want to lie to him.”

She blinked back her tears and took a shaking breath. Now was not the time for her to fall apart. “Thank you.”

“I’m here for anything you need.”

“Anything?”

“You know I am.”

“Tell me again how much you liked my letter.”

“If I do, will you write me another one?”

She grinned, ready to let him take her mind off her problems with something more fun and flirtatious. “I already did, and I mailed it yesterday. I think you’ll like it even better than the first one.”

“If I do, I think it might kill me. I loved every single filthy word of the first one. You said clit five times and I was so proud of you. Say cunt next time? For me? Please?”

“Gabriel.”

“Fine. Pussy?”

She rolled her eyes, but her heart was racing with excitement and she enjoyed how much her words seemed to affect him. “If I say it, will you be able to die in peace?”

“Yes,” he groaned. “Please.”

“I wish you weren’t in prison so you could touch my pussy.”

“Now I’m dead. You’ve killed me with your dirty talk.”

She giggled and pushed down on the urge to tell him she loved him for what felt like the dozenth time. The words were heavy on her tongue, desperate to get out, but she knew it wasn’t fair to him to say it. She wasn’t sure yet if they were true and even if they were, she’d already asked for too much from him when they both knew how it would inevitably end.

She sat with hands twisted in her lap that night, feet tucked up under a blanket as she watched the flames dance in their small living room fireplace. The winters usually didn’t get very cold here, but there had been frost on the ground outside that had crunched under feet when she’d brought in her bags from her last shopping trip before the holidays.

Christmas break seemed shorter than ever this year and she was running out of time.

“Dad?”

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