Page 87 of Deliver Me

“Hmm,” she said. “I would never do such a thing, Gabriel, honestly.”

She would and she clearly had, but to admit it would be more than her pride could allow. She wasn’t without her flaws but maybe she loved him more than she had let herself acknowledge, even back then. “I’ve been thinking,” he said, pretending not to notice her moment of vulnerability, “and I want to do something important. Give something back to help people like me.”

“And what would that be?” She sat up straighter, her mind seamlessly making the switch to something tangible she could work on.

“Well, I thought I’d ask my mother to throw some of her considerable influence behind prison and sentencing reform,” he said. “At least to begin with. Then I could move on to starting a nonprofit, something to help with the legal complications and helping people get back on their feet once they’re released. It’salmost impossible for them to find jobs or places to live. It’s not surprising how many of them end up back in prison. We’ve done nothing to help them with the problems that put them there and we’ve added new, unnecessary challenges on top of them.”

She set her glass down, her face taking on a calculating expression that he knew meant she’d slipped into the role of a politician. “Those views aren’t exactly popular, Gabriel. Not with donors and not with the public. Our current rules are in place to keep other people safe.”

“I know,” he said. “But does doing that and not addressing the real causes of crime actually help anyone? Or is it just another way that we can make people miserable without having to feel guilty? We’ve built an entire system around punishment. We handle people who break the law like they’re cartoon criminals instead of real people with real struggles. You don’t know how many of the people I was in with had stories like mine. Stealing to survive, killing to survive, doing drugs just to numb the pain of living or to self-medicate for some mental illness because they can’t afford to see a real therapist.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, sounding as exasperated with him as she had been in his youth. “You want to take on the whole judicial system?”

“More than that,” he said, leaning forward and grabbing her hand, cradling it in his as he tried to explain. “I want to challenge the idea of punitive justice as the best way to do things in the first place. The thought that you can lock someone up in a cage and that somehow they pay off their debt to society through suffering … it makes no sense.”

“And what do you think we should do instead?”

“Help people before it comes to that,” he said. “Do more to keep people fed, housed, and educated. We can break the cycles that put people in prison and help the ones that are already there get a better chance at a future.”

“Gabriel …”

“I can handle the non-profit,” he interrupted. “Mia can help with all the legal stuff once she has her degree and passes the bar and I have just the person in mind to help with the reintegration part of things—but I need your help. You don’t just have the platform and the political clout, it’s more than that, you have the ability to speak on this as someone who’s been directly affected by a horrible tragedy.”

“I don’t know that I can honestly say that I completely disagree with you being sent to prison,” she said. “I can’t speak as a victimandsay the things you want me to say.”

“I’m not asking you to advocate for the abolition of consequences entirely or for those who commit violent crimes to go free without an assessment of the risk,” he said. “I’m asking that you ask for those consequences to fit the circumstances. I’m asking you to advocate for other solutions for nonviolent offenders, for programs to reduce violence in the first place, and for everyone to have the chance at rehabilitation.”

“You’ve given this a lot of thought,” she said. “Is this the only reason you came?”

“I’ve been working on goals with my therapist,” he explained. “Trying to mend our relationship was one of the goals, and the nonprofit was another. I figured since I was already here …”

She patted his arm. “You got that single-mindedness from me, I suppose, so I can’t fault you for it.”

“Does that mean you’ll help me?”

“I’ll do what I can,” she agreed.

Chapter Thirty-Four

“You’re sure this is the one?” Gabriel glanced around the campus again, the stately buildings and the trees that ruffled in the warm breeze. It was the third campus they’d toured in as many weeks but this time her face didn’t have the faint wrinkle of dissatisfaction.

“It’s got everything I need,” she mused, her hand flat against her stomach as she followed his gaze with her own. “Well, they all did, I suppose but this one feels …”

“It feels like home,” he finished. She’d done a summer internship with Amy, soaking up all the knowledge she could, but she’d applied to several law schools and many of them had been out of state. They were good schools, and her acceptances were impressive, but they were far from her friends and her family, and he knew that wasn’t what she needed right now. They would still have to move, but she’d only be a few hours away. Close enough for her to visit them often. Close enough for them to come and visit her when the baby was born.

“Exactly.” Tears misted her eyes and she shrugged helplessly, a confused laugh spilling from her lips. “I’m so emotional about everything lately.”

“You’re entitled.” He grinned and pulled her into his arms. “If this is what you want, then this is where we’ll go.”

“There’s a lovely little house for sale, not far from here.” Her smile was wide, unrepentant as she lifted up on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his lips. “It has the perfect room for a nursery.”

“Does it?” He tugged gently on the ends of her hair, rubbing the silken texture between his fingers. “I see you’ve got it all planned out.”

“I wanted to look at all my options, but I think I knew this was the right place.”

“And you’re happy? About everything?” He had to be sure. There was no room for doubt or uncertainty now, not when he’d given everything he had to making sure she had all the good things she deserved.

“So happy,” she confirmed. “And it’s not just this—though I’m thrilled about school and the baby—it’s everything. You’re doing so well now. Your relationship with your mother and the progress you’ve made with the nonprofit. The interviews you’re doing to bring awareness to what happened to you and all the ways the system failed you.”

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