Page 18 of Deliver Me

She sighed as she sat down at the dining room table and began to flick through the day’s stack of mail until she found a letter from Gabriel. Here she was, feeling sorry for herself, when she had certainly still had a better day than he’d experienced. She’d wanted to send him some candy for the holiday, but they weren’t allowed to send food to the prisoners. She knew because she had looked up the rules.

Mia,

I’m not surprised that you’re considering changing your major. You were never excited about teaching, and you’ve been excited about law since you started that paper you’re working on. Your teacher obviously has faith in you, and I am sorry that your friends can’t see how smart and capable you are. You’re going to kick ass at anything you do.

She giggled, shaking her head. Her father would probably be upset about his language and her ready acceptance of it, and she really ought to be trying to discourage him and set a good example, but it was so uniquely Gabriel. She didn’t want him to change it.

I’m the last person who can give you advice, but I think you should follow your heart. You shouldn’t be tied down by what someone else wants for you, not when you have a whole life of freedom ahead of you. Chase all of your dreams, and to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it.

She quickly scanned the rest of the letter, shaking her head when he promised to try and have a good Halloween because she knew he hadnot,and then let the paper fall back onto the table. He had such faith in her, and it felt so good to have someone on her side even if he didn’t know everything. She’d already explained her concerns about her father’s disappointment and her mother’s legacy, but she hadn’t told him anything at all about one of the biggest reasons behind her hesitation.

She’d told him about everything else in her life, but not James. She wasn’t sure why she’d kept that a secret since she’d finally noticed James’ attention, but every time she’d tried to bring it up the words had refused to come, like she couldn’t find the right way to tell him. She was sure that something so simple wouldn’t change their friendship, and she wasn’t ashamed of her interest in James, but she felt uneasy at the idea of those parts of her life connecting.

She never actually mentioned Gabriel around James either, she realized with a frown, and her friends had thankfully stopped asking about him when they realized that she couldn’t be swayed from her decision to keep in touch with him. Gabriel would probably have been happy for her if she’d found a way to mention James, but she doubted very much that James would feel the same way about Gabriel.

Over the past few months Gabriel had become something of a sanctuary for the rebellious parts of her desires, the parts that didn’t fit into the neat boxes of everyone else’s expectations. He encouraged her in everything she wanted to do because he didn’t care about anyone else or what the world wanted. He only cared about her and what made her happy. He knew all of her flaws and ugly parts, the parts she kept hidden away from everyone else, and he still wanted to be friends with her.

Somehow, she thought that if she asked Gabriel what he liked about her, his answer would be very different from what James had told her in the car.

She picked up the letter and looked at it again.

Follow your own heart.

Everyone else had told her to heed God's guidance, and God had directed her to Gabriel. If he thought that she should follow her heart, then maybe that was exactly what God wanted her to hear.

Chapter Nine

The letter came not long after Halloween, her words bubbling with a palpable excitement that nearly jumped off the page.

Gabriel,

I did it! I submitted my change of major form! I’m now a political science major! It’s not going to be easy getting into law school, but I feel so good about taking that first step.

I haven’t told my dad yet, he might be supportive, I just think it would be a good idea to wait until I can show him a few semesters of good grades to prove to him I’m serious about this.

Lilly and Bryce were decent about it, if not exactly excited. They think I should tell my dad now, but they’ve agreed not to mention it until I’ve finished a few more classes.

Thanks for encouraging me and believing in me. I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to do it without you.

It felt good, the idea that he had truly changed someone’s life for the better. There was someone out there that was glad that he had been there for them. It wasn’t pity or charity that kept her writing to him now, it was a shared connection. A hard, dark place inside opened more than he had been willing to let it open in a long time.

But now I need you to do something for me. I need you to think about trying to find a way to petition the court and challenge your conviction. I’ll help you myself if I have to but you deserve to be heard. You deserve a fair chance.

He thought about her words all night, staring at the ceiling as unfamiliar hope pushed against his carefully guarded heart. His experiences had warned him against believing in anything too much, the cost of faith was too high. It knocked the breath out of you when it crumbled from under your feet. He understood why she felt differently, why she still believed in God and good things, and he didn’t want his failures to be what robbed her of it.

Mia,

I’m so proud of you.

I don’t know if I’ve told you, but it’s my birthday coming up. I’m going to be twenty-eight and it’s been more than twelve years since they put me in here. I asked around after you told me about it, some of the guys in here spend a lot of time trying to help everyone with their cases, and they made it pretty clear that Texas doesn’t like to let go of you once they have you in a jail cell. Even if the state overturned my conviction, there’s almost a 100% chance that they would charge me with the murder all over again and make me go through a new trial. Don’t waste your time on me.

He was afraid that she’d be angry at his refusal but when the next letter came, it brought only understanding and an unexpected gift. He didn’t recognize it for what it was at first. A paper that was thicker and stiffer than what she usually wrote on fell out of the envelope to land by his feet. It was a plain white rectangle with a single line of script written neatly on the back in Mia’s handwriting.

Just to let you know I was thinking about you!

Puzzled, he turned it over in his hands to find a glossy photograph. The background was a neat and tidy kitchen with bright sunlight streaming in the windows but dominating the image was a cupcake with red frosting and a single lit candle in the hands of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

His breath caught in his throat, his fingers trembled, his heart began to pound as he drank in the details of her.

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