Page 13 of One Hundred Humbugs

Becket smirked, leaning against the fence. “They’ll get to it. Goats like to take their time—wander, check things out. It’s a big yard, so they’ll start grazing once they’re sure there’s nothing dangerous around. Give them an hour, and they’ll eat their way through that mess.”

Becket scratched his head, watching the goats. “They’re, uh ... getting acclimated.”

“They look like they’re on vacation,” Ruby muttered, folding her arms tighter across her chest. “Maybe they think this is a resort. Should I put out some little umbrellas and coconut drinks for them?”

Becket shot her a sheepish grin. “Maybe they’re unionizing. It’s hard to find good help these days. Even in the goat world.”

Before Ruby could respond with another quip, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She glanced at the screen and groaned. The bank. Again. It was like they had a sixth sense for when she was starting to feel a glimmer of hope.

With a deep breath, she answered quietly, turning away from Becket. “Yes, I’m aware the payment is overdue. I’ll take care of it as soon as I can.” She paused, listening to the stern voice on the other end. “No, I don’t need another reminder, thank you.” She hung up, trying to shove down the wave of frustration as she turned back to Becket, who was watching her curiously.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his tone casual, but there was something knowing in his eyes that made Ruby feel exposed. Great, now the handsome goat-herder knew she was one step away from having to give serious consideration to the house’s resale value.

Ruby waved it off, but the words slipped out anyway, tinged with bitterness. “Just my bank reminding me I’m broke. Funny, I was planning on using my credit card to pay you, but now I guess I don’t have to.” She forced a laugh. “Silver linings, right? Though at this point, I’d settle for copper linings. Or tin. Really, any metal that isn’t worthless.”

Becket’s lips twitched in amusement. “Seems like I’m saving you more than just a landscaping bill, huh?”

Ruby huffed, embarrassment and gratitude coloring her cheeks. “Guess so. You sure this is going to work? The goats look less interested in the yard than I am.” She nodded towards one goat who seemed to be admiring itself in the reflection of an old, rusted hubcap. “That one looks like he’s posing for his LinkedIn profile picture.”

“They’ll get going,” Becket said with a grin that was far too infectious for Ruby’s liking. “They’re just sizing up the place. Once they start, they’ll be like furry lawnmowers.”

Ruby rolled her eyes, fighting the amusement threatening to show.

There was something about Becket’s easy-going nature that made her want to believe him, despite the ridiculousness of the situation. “Well, they better get moving soon. This yard isn’t going to fix itself.” The lightness in her tone surprised her.

Becket gave a playful nod. “Trust me, once they’re done, you won’t even recognize this place. And if they don’t … well, I’ve got a backup plan.”

Ruby raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “What’s the backup plan? A herd of sheep with weed-whackers strapped to their backs?”

“Close,” Becket grinned. “I’ve got an old lawnmower in the back of my truck. But I’m sure they’ll get to work before I need it. These goats are professionals. They just ... take their time.”

Just as he said that, one of the goats bent down and took a small, experimental nibble of a weed. Ruby watched, holding her breath. But then, the goat promptly walked away, disinterested, like a food critic dismissing an appetizer.

Becket sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay, maybe they’re on a break. Union rules, you know.”

Ruby let out a short laugh, surprising herself. “Some landscapers.”

As they stood there, watching the goats meander about, a strange mix of emotions welled up in Ruby. On one hand, the pressure of her financial situation loomed large, threatening to crush her spirits. On the other, there was something almost ... liberating about the absurdity of it all. Here she was, pinning her hopes on a bunch of goats and a man who looked more like he belonged on a home improvement show than in her overgrown yard.

She glanced at Becket, noticing his eyes still on her as he watched quietly.

Their eyes met, and something sparked to life inside her.

It was something that made her forget about the bank calls and the mounting bills, even if just for a second. It reminded her of being back in high school, catching her crush’s eye across the cafeteria. Except now, instead of a cafeteria, they stood in a weedy wasteland, and instead of fellow students, they were surrounded by unhurried goats.

“You know,” Becket said, breaking the silence, “I have a feeling these goats are going to surprise us both.”

She paused, then said, “If this doesn’t work out, maybe we can start a petting zoo. Come see the world’s laziest goats and the woman who thought they’d save her inherited bungalow!”

As if on cue, one of the goats took a big bite of the overgrown grass. Ruby and Becket exchanged a look of triumphant amusement.

“See?” Becket grinned. “Told you they’d come through. They just needed a dramatic moment.”

And as Ruby watched the goat continue to munch, hope settled in. Things were starting to look up. Even if it took a herd of reluctant goats and a far-too-charming landscaper to make it happen.

“Alright,” she said, straightening up. “While your crew gets to work, why don’t you tell me more about this grand plan of yours? And maybe explain why you decided that goat herding was a natural progression from landscaping. I could use a good laugh.”

Becket’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Oh, it’s a long story. Involves a mistaken Craigslist ad and a mid-day epiphany. But I warn you, it might just convince you that I’m either a genius or insane.”

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