Page 38 of Yours to Conquer

Okay, until tomorrow night then. Love you.

Kat walks into my room just as I open my computer to search for signs of pregnancy. In one hand is a gallon of Rocky Road and in the other is a bottle of merlot.

“I brought both, just in case you changed your mind.” She climbs up next to me in bed and hands me a spoon and the ice cream. “Spill it.”

I bite my lip, trying to figure out how to subtly tell her my news. I weigh my words, but in the end, I just blurt it out.

“I may be pregnant.” It comes out in a steady whoosh of air. I feel better just vocalizing the possibility.

She grabs the ice cream out of my hand and pulls off the lid. She doesn’t even wait for the spoon; she just digs her fingers in and grabs a glob. I watch in disgust as she shoves it into her mouth. This is the Kat I grew up with, the one who will do anything to lighten the tension.

Through a mouthful of melting chocolate ice cream, she opens her mouth. “Are you sure?” she asks.

I tilt my head at her and scrunch my mouth and eyes, giving her my “are you serious?” look. “The wordmayindicates that I’m not sure. Dr. Lydell told me my symptoms all lead to pregnancy. Then again, it could be anemia or cancer, so who knows?”

She licks her fingers and looks at me. “You seem to be taking this pretty well. Why is that? I would have expected you to be buried in bed and in a fit of tears.”

“I can barely stop myself from wrestling you for that bottle of wine. The only thing that stops me is that I may be pregnant. What am I going to do?”

“Get a pregnancy test. Then figure it all out. Have you told Anthony?” At the mention of Anthony, I cry.

Kat puts the ice cream on the nightstand and hugs me. She smashes my face into her chest and whispers all the things I want to hear. Things likeit’s going to be okay, andwe’ll get through this.

“I think I’m in denial. I don’t want to be pregnant right now. I want some time with Anthony before I have his baby. I want his babies, but I just didn’t want them now. Is that selfish?”

“No, I think we all want to plan the perfect life, butsometimes fate has a way of stepping in.” Kat pets my hair, and I like the way it feels. Anthony does the same thing, and it always soothes me.

“Yeah, well, if fate were a woman, I’d slap that bitch. Hasn’t she given me enough to deal with in my life? Don’t you even say you only get as much as you can handle because that’s bullshit, and you know it.” I watch as Kat opens and closes her mouth. She tweaks her lips to the side and lifts her eyes. This is her thinking face.

“When are you going to tell Anthony? He has a right to know.”

“There is nothing to know right now. I have to make a doctor’s appointment and get a blood test. Dr. Lydell didn’t think a pee test would be beneficial since I’ve been spotting. She just said the blood test would be definitive. Even if I took the pee test, I’d have to get the blood test to confirm.”

“I’d be peeing on a stick if I were you.” Kat looks past me at the wall. “Besides the bad timing, how would you feel about being pregnant?”

“I feel like I failed Anthony and myself. He’s a good man, and he would marry me in a second if I were having his child. I don’t want to be that girl. I want him to marry me because he loves me and because he can’t live without me.”

“I think we have already established that he loves and wants you to be his. I remember him saying something like he couldn’t breathe unless you were in the room.”

I use one hand to brush away my tears and the other to push my rogue curls out of my face. “He isn’t having too difficult of a time breathing. He was seen with another redhead yesterday. He wasn’t even gone a day, and he was ushering another girl to dinner. It’s like he’s repeating our first date with someone else.” I breathe in a ragged breath and try not to cry again.

“That’s crap, and you know it. He would never cheat on you. Whatever is going on with you, we need to get it under control before you lose your mind. That man is whipped when it comes to you.”

“You’re right. I’ve just been off. I’m pregnant, or I need a different method of birth control. Speaking of birth control, I need to stop taking it, right? It’s bad for the baby, correct?” I think about the little life that may be growing inside of me. My hand unconsciously reaches down and rubs my stomach. I’m already in love with the baby I’m not sure I’m having. I think I may be losing my mind.

“When are you going to go to the doctor?”

“I have to call tomorrow. This reminds me, I have an assignment of sorts from Dr. L. She wants me to smash plates at The Smash Shack. She thinks it’ll be therapeutic.”

“I’ve heard of that place. I’ll go. I have a few names to write down myself.”

We make plans to go after work. We’ll drive together and meet Roxy there.

“Have you heard anything about the investigation? I was going to ask Anthony, but we started disagreeing, and I got sidetracked.”

“Yes, I think we are off the hook. Her boyfriend admitted to drinking with her once they left Ahz. They couldn’t get a drink with our tight policy and left to drink elsewhere. I just found out right before I came here. Damon was going to call Anthony as soon as I left.”

I feel such a sense of relief. “Why couldn’t we have that information before I met with the creepy reporter? At least now they will move on.” I reach over and take the container with the partially melted ice cream into the crook of my arm and dig in. I still need chocolate.

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