Page 63 of Just a Bit Guarded

Will winced. “Depends on your definition of sex.”

“Un-fucking-believable.” Scott laughed. “My boring, straight cousin isn’t so boring and straight after all.”

“It isn’t funny, Scott.”

“I disagree,” Scott said, still chuckling.“Aren’t you the one who told me that it was gross and I was robbing the cradle? You’re older than me!”

“Only ten months older,” Will said. “But I’m not being a hypocrite. I’m perfectly aware that it was wrong. That’s why I didn’t repeat the mistake.” Until this evening. “Unlike you, I don’t delude myself thinking that it’s some epic romance. It was just sex. Ill-advised sex, sure, but just sex. Both of us understood it.”

“Right,” Scott said. “It doesn’t look like he understood it.” He chuckled. “Damn, I still can’t believe it... But I get it—the guy is so hot it’s impossible to look at him without imagining his mouth around my dick—”

“Scott.”

“—but I didn’t think you would relate. Did he suck you off?”

Will didn’t say anything.

“I’ll take your silence as yes. Holy shit. Was he good?”

“Drop it, Scott.”

“I bet he looks amazing on his knees—”

“I said drop it,” Will snapped. His tone had likely betrayed his irritation, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want Scott to imagine what Gadiel looked like on his knees with a cock—Scott’s cock—in his mouth. The mere thought made him grind his teeth.

“Oh, wow,” Scott said after a moment’s silence. “You really are possessive of him. Was the sex that good?”

“That’s none of your business,” he said tersely. He’d never been one to kiss and tell, but sharing intimate details about Gadiel with someone else seemed particularly distasteful.

“You’re kind of making it my business, man,” Scott said with a scoff. “And you should have told me that you’ve had sex with him already before asking for my advice. I need to have all the relevant information to be able to give you good advice.”

“It wasn’t really sex,” Will said. “Sort of. It’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated,” Scott repeated incredulously. “So I take it getting it up for a guy isn’t the issue here?”

“Not the issue,” Will said shortly. He didn’t have a problem getting it up for Gadiel.Thatwas something of an issue.

“Then what is your problem? If you fucked him already, what difference does it make? Just fuck him and get it out of his system. He’s nineteen. He’ll be crushing on someone else in no time once he gets over his fixation.”

Will grimaced. How could he even explain to Scott that if he fucked Gadiel now, it would be a bigger mistake than what had happened last month—or what had happened this evening? Gadiel was right that the anonymous sex didn’t really count. It didn’t matter that Gadiel had apparently recognized him; Will hadn’t known that at the time, and he had been mad with inappropriate jealousy, and fucked him like he would fuck a stranger. But they weren’t strangers. They had grown so much closer over the past month. If they fucked now, it wouldn’t be just sex. It wouldn’t be just a fuck. Not for Will. Even imagining Gadiel’s toned body under him, with his sensual lips panting Will’s name and those pretty eyes fixed on him adoringly made him half-hard. A besotted, trusting look shouldn’t make him aroused, but here he was. It was fucking messed up.The truthwas, Gadiel wasright: over the past month of being Gadiel’s bodyguard, some wires had crossed and now part of him thought of Gadiel’s body as his to protect, to take, to fuck. Just his.

“Is it the age difference?” Scott said when Will didn’t reply.

“Among other things,” Will said stiffly. The age difference was problematic enough. Their stages in life were misaligned, and Will had reservations about that for a whole load of reasons. There was also the issue of Gadiel being under his protection. His client. An affair with one’s client was highly inadvisable, and often detrimental to one’s career.

There was also the issue of Gadiel’s... feelings. Will didn’t share Scott’s optimism that Gadiel would get over it after fucking it out of his system. Despite his age, Gadiel was nowhere near as fickle as Scott was. He was starved for love and acceptance. Fucking an infatuated kid like that was a bad idea. A terrible idea. He knew it rationally.

But Will didn’t want to leave him. The mere thought made him twitchy and uneasy—and that in itself made him uneasy. This was a job.A temporary gig.He wouldleave Gadiel eventually. Beforethe attack on Zain’s estate, hewas going to quit the job. Why the hell was he delaying the inevitable? They didn’t—couldn’t—have any kind of future together, for multiple reasons.

“I think you’re overthinking it,” Scott said. “He wants to get fucked. So fuck him. He’s pretty young, sure, but he’s an adult. It’s not like you met him when he was a kid. It’s not grooming or anything gross like that. I see nothing wrong with two consenting adults having fun together. Just make it clear to him that you don’t have any feelings for him and that it’s just sex.”

Will wondered what it said about him that Scott’s words sounded foreign to his ears. Fucking Gadiel would never be something as simple ashaving fun.

And that was the crux of the issue. Sticking around wasn’t advisable, and not only for Gadiel’s sake. His own behavior lately had been frustrating him. He’d never acted like this in his life, so out of control and driven by his impulses and instincts. It wasn’t him.

“It’s not that simple,” he said roughly, rubbing his face with his palm.

“Holy shit,” Scott said faintly. “You actually want to fuck him.”

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