Page 56 of Just a Bit Guarded

It was highly unlikely that Will was oblivious to how horny Gadiel always was, but he always pulled back whenever Gadiel as much as hinted that he wanted him. At times like this, Gadiel almost wondered whether he’d hallucinated the orgasms they’d shared. Will was like an unreachable fort now.

Except he alsowasn’t. He allowed Gadiel into his personal space. He allowed Gadiel to touch him affectionately, to kiss him on the cheek and curl up against him when they watched TV. Gadiel was sure he wasn’t imagining the intensity in Will’s eyes when he looked at Gadiel. Will could be so indulgent, even affectionate with him. But as soon as Gadiel tried to push for more, Will immediately closed off.

It was incredibly frustrating. And baffling.

After weeks of this torture, Gadiel couldn’t do it anymore. He was this close to snapping at Will—or shoving him onto the nearest horizontal surface and having his way with him.

The more frustrated he got, the hornier and more perverse his fantasies got. Apparently it wasn’t enough that he liked having Will in charge of him, liked having his body manipulated and handled by Will as though Will fucking owned it. No, apparently it wasn’t enough that he had that weird submissive thing going;his sexual fantasies were the opposite kind of weird.

When he jerked off—and he jerked off a lot these days—he didn’t think of Will bossing him around in bed. More often than not, it was the other way around. His favorite fantasy involved tying Will up and then forcing him to suck his cock and eat his hole. He wanted to ride Will’s face. He wanted to choke him with his hole. He wanted to force Will to lie back and take it as Gadiel rode his cock to oblivion. He wanted to make Will utterly addicted to his hole, until he started worshipping it voluntarily, until Will couldn’t live without putting his tongue and his cock inside of Gadiel.

He was, quite possibly, fucked in his head.

The fantasies felt bizarre and depraved, considering that outside of sex fantasies, Gadiel often felt like kissing Will’s hands and begging him for scraps of his attention.

Like, Gadiel wasn’t a naive virgin who didn’t understand kinks. He respected kinks. Having kinks was totally healthy and normal. But he’d have preferred for his body to make up its fucking mind about what it wanted. It all was just so weird.

As if his life wasn’t weird or frustrating enough.

Fuck, he couldn’t do this anymore.

He needed to get laid, or he’d go mad. Madder. Being stuck in a tiny apartment with the unattainable object of his sexual fantasies wasn’t good for his sanity.He needed some space from Will, or he’d fucking explode and do something he would regret. Something that would push Will away for good.

The mere thought was unbearable. Unacceptable. Hecouldn’tlose Will. He just couldn’t.

It couldn’t go on like this.

So as soon as they finished eating, Gadiel said, “I’m going out tonight.”

Will stiffened. “You can’t go anywhere. It’s not safe.”

“Oh, come on!” Gadiel said, getting to his feet. “I’ve barely been outside for weeks! You’re just being paranoid! Even my brother said that it’s probably safe to go out.”

Will got to his feet too. “Your brother said no such thing. What he actually said was that the people who are threatening him are from the Italian mafia, and they have a big presence in this city.”

“It’s not the same mafia,” Gadiel argued.

“Maybe not. But they likely have connections to the Sicilian mafia. It’s too risky, Gadiel.”

“I don’t care!” Gadiel snapped, frustration making his voice sharper. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to live with—” He cut himself off before he could humiliate himself. His face hot, he glared at Will and ground out, “I want to get laid. I want to feel wanted, to feel good. I’m finally in a city where there are openly gay men and clubs where I can meet them. So I’m going out to get laid, all the mafia in the world be damned!”

“No.”

“No?” Gadiel repeated incredulously. “How are you going to stop me? You can’t stop me.”

A series of emotions flickered through Will’s face: anger, frustration, concern, and then anger again.

“Can’t I?” he said, crossing his muscular arms over his chest and stepping between Gadiel and the door.

And Gadiel saw red, his frustration morphing into fury.

With a growl, he slammed his fists into Will’s chest, but Will quickly grabbed his arms, preventing him from hitting him again. Breathing hard, Gadiel headbutted him, but Will shifted his arms, pulling him into a headlock and trapping his flailing arms. “Let me go!” Gadiel yelled, bucking and trying to free himself.

“Enough,” Will growled into his ear.

Gadiel went still, all the blood in his body rushing to his dick. His stupid, traitorous dick that didn’t care that he was angry.

“You have no right,” Gadiel bit out. “You can’t just lock me up here and take away my rights!”

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