Page 5 of Just a Bit Guarded

“Does this happen often?” Will said. “Does he get drunk and act like—like that?” Like a slut. Like a depressed wreck.

The silence on the other end of the line was pretty telling.

“Not often, thankfully,” the sheikh said at last. “But he’s prone to depression and gets drunk when he feels down.” He sighed. “It was his birthday the other day.”

Will frowned, wondering what it had to do with the kid being such a mess.

“It probably didn’t help that I told him that his new bodyguard would control who he talks to,” Zain said. “He wasn’t happy. He might not even remember meeting you when he sobers up, so you’ll have to introduce yourself again. He usually doesn’t remember much when he’s like that.”

Will exhaled. It was probably for the best.If Gadiel and Scott really became something serious, it would be less awkward if the kid didn’t remember his failed attempt to seduce his boyfriend’s cousin.

Christ, what a messy situation.

He had a bad feeling about this.

Chapter 3

Gadiel was no stranger to bodyguards. In fact, growing up, he’d considered it normal that there was always a hulking, silent man following him everywhere. For the most part, he hadn’t minded that. He’d never known any different, after all.They’d been part of his life from his very first memories.And rationally, he understood that as the son of the sheikh of Dubai, he needed protection. It was for his own good; Gadiel understood that.

But in the past few years, his bodyguards had no longer felt like protection. They’d started feeling like jailers. Gadiel had become acutely aware that his every move was watched and reported back to his brother. Which would have been okay—Zain was far cooler than their father or older brother, Omar—except Gadiel did have something to hide.

Namely, the fact that he likedmen.

Of course, Zain had found out. And Zain hadn’t exactly been happy with him. Zain might be cooler than everyone else in their family, but he was also unbearably bossy and harsh. He didn’t seem to understand that Gadiel couldn’t just switch his sexuality off and pretend to be a good, straight Muslim young man. He seemed to think that Gadiel had chosen to be gay just to annoy him and create problems for him.

It was singularly infuriating. He wasn’t a child! It wasn’t fair that Zain expected him to live like a monk. It was his life, his decisions.

Except Zain hadn’t been impressed with that argument, either.

“Yes, it’s your life, but if you keep this up, your life will be very short,” Zain had said the other day. “Who was that man?”

“No one,” Gadiel had lied quickly, suddenly very glad that it had been pretty dark and Scott had left before Zain could get a look on his face. Not that they’d been doing anything wrong! They’d just been flirting. And all right, they might have been standing kind of close—as close as people who were about to kiss. But still. Zain had totally overreacted!

Zain fixed him with a flat look. “I’ve had enough, Gadiel,” he ground out. “One more transgression, and I won’t protect you anymore. I spent millions on covering up your hookups last year. I thought you understood after what happened in October, but apparently not, since you were about to kiss a manoutsideyour apartment. Grow up and learn to be responsible with your life.” He turned away and strode to the door, but then he stopped, his hand on the door handle. Sighing, he looked over his shoulder, his eyes grim. “I don’t want to bury you too, kid.”

Gadiel’s throat constricted. “I’m not doing it on purpose,” he whispered, barely audibly. “It’s just who I am, Zain.”

Zain shook his head. “You are being irresponsible and reckless. This has nothing to do with you being gay. There are gay men in this country who manage to be discreet. But you... You don’t want to be discreet. Sometimes I almost think you actually want to get caught.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Gadiel looked away.

The silence stretched, heavy and thick with unspoken words.

Do you want to die?

Gadiel could almost hear the question. Could almost taste it.

And the truth was... the truth was, he didn’t know the answer.

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew what would happen to him if he got caught with a man. He was engaged to the daughter of the president of the UAE, who was a ruthless man with very narrow-minded, old-fashioned views. That man wouldn’t be lenient with him if Gadiel got caught. A life sentence would be the kindest outcome. A beating and death were the likeliest.

What did it say about him that the knowledge still didn’t stop him?Washe suicidal?Gadiel didn’t know. Sometimes he thought death would be preferable to living a lie all his life. But he wanted to live too. He wanted to be free. He would have liked to be allowed to be himself—to find out who he would have been had he been born into a different family, in a different country. If he were someone else. Someone free.

“It’s obvious now that I can’t trust you to keep your word,” Zain said, snapping Gadiel out of his depressing thoughts. “I’ll get you a new bodyguard and make it part of his job description to stop you from acting like a suicidal idiot. No more men.”And with that, Zain had walked out.

Gadiel hadn’t thought he was serious.

But apparently, he had been wrong.

---