Page 35 of Just a Bit Guarded

His brows furrowing, Will stepped closer. “What?”

“You’re my bodyguard,” Gadiel said. “It’s your job to keep me safe.”

Will nodded, his expression slightly bemused. He was no longer smirking. Good.

“Hooking up with strange men puts me in danger,” Gadiel said.

Will nodded again, but his expression was more wary now.

“So it’s your job to find me men I can safely hook up with,” Gadiel finished.

Will stared at him. And stared at him some more.

“You’re adorable, kid.”

Gadiel glowered at him. “I’m serious.”

“Sure you are,” Will said with an entirely condescending chuckle, practically rolling his eyes.

And Gadiel sawred.

“I want cock,” he ground out. “Any cock. Not yours. Any goddamn cock would do. You don’t believe me? I swear to every god out there, I’ll stop the first man I see and suck him off to prove it to you.” He was dead serious. He was mad enough to do it, just to prove a point to Will. To prove that he wasn’t a stupid kid with a stupid crush who shouldn’t be taken seriously.

All traces of amusement left Will’s face. He studied Gadiel for a moment before his expression became tight. “For fuck’s sake. If you think this is how you’ll prove to me that you’re not a reckless kid, think again.All it would prove is that you’re a suicidal, attention-seeking child.You’re acting like a spoiled toddler throwing a tantrum when he doesn’t get the expensive, shiny new toy he wants.”

Gadiel laughed bitterly. Spoiled? Who would even spoil him? His absent mother who had barely looked at him even when she had been around? His distant father who remembered about his existence only when he needed to use him as a pawn in a political game?

He wished he were spoiled. In fact, it had always been something Gadiel had secretly craved: to be doted on, to be the center of his loved ones’ attention and care. Stupid.Childish. Just another childish, unattainable dream.

“Are you the expensive toy?” Gadiel heard himself say, his voice toneless. “You flatter yourself. You’re not irreplaceable. Luckily for me.”

Will’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gadiel smiled emptily. “You aren’t even my real bodyguard. You don’t feel any loyalty to me. With Scott giving up on me, you’re leaving soon too.” As soon as hevoiced the thought, that strange panic surged again—and everything finally clicked into place.

Sothatwas what it had been about. That was why he’d felt so panicky and clingy since Scott had broken things off.Will was nothing to him. Not even his real bodyguard.Will was going to leave now.

A knot formed in his stomach, tight and nauseating.

It was stupid. He’d known Will for what, less than two weeks? Surely he hadn’t gotten so attached to him in two weeks? That would be pathetic. Besides, he was used to people leaving. It was fine. Or it would be fine.It would be. He would be. He was always fine.

Why was Will not saying anything? The silence was grating on his frayed nerves. Will’s eyes seemed to see right into his mind, unearthing every shameful emotion and vulnerability.

At last, Will sighed. “Kid...”

“It’s fine,” Gadiel said, forcing another smile. “I’m just a silly, spoiled rich guy. I’m sure you’ll forget about my existence the moment you go home. I’ll do the same.”

“Gadiel—”

“I said it’s fine,” he snapped, his voice mortifyingly weak. “Go away! You’re gonna leave, so leave now!”

For a long moment, all he could see were Will’s shiny black shoes and slacks.

And then, Will said, “I’m not leaving.”

Blinking, Gadiel lifted his eyes to him. His heart leapt to his throat. “What?”

“I’m not leaving,” Will repeated. “Not yet, at least.”

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