Page 12 of Just a Bit Guarded

Gadiel shrugged, dropping his gaze. His long dark eyelashes hid his expression as his lips twisted into a smile that looked more like a grimace. “Sort of? I am what I am. Too Western to fit in my home country and a bit too exotic to pass as one of you.” He laughed a little. “It would have been easier for me if I weren’t cursed with such a white face. I could never fit in, not even when I was a little kid. I’ve always felt like a bit of a changeling in my family. I almost wasn’t surprised when I realized that I liked boys. I’ve always been... other.”

Will felt a pang of pity.“I’m sorry. It must have sucked growing up.”

Gadiel gave an awkward shrug, clearly feigning his air of nonchalance. “It’s fine. I’m over it. I know better now and stopped trying to fit in. It’ll never work, considering what I am.”

Will studied him. There was something he didn’t understand... “Why don’t you leave this country? Move somewhere you can be yourself?”

Gadiel played with his food, his gaze distant as he chewed on his lip. “I’ve always dreamed about it,” he said quietly. “But it wasn’t realistic while I was underage. And even now... When myfather finds me, he’ll drag me back home. Ifhe finds out about my sexuality, he’ll kill me.”

A chill ran down Will’s spine from the matter-of-fact way he spoke of it.

“Then do you have a death wish?” Will said, frowning. “You’re not subtle at all. If you and Scott get together, you won’t be able to keep your boyfriend secret long.”

Gadiel just looked at him for a long moment, his eyes unusually solemn. “I don’t have a death wish, but I know I’ll die young. I’d like to experience love and some happiness before that happens.”

A heavy weight settled in the pit of Will’s stomach. “Now you’re being too pessimistic,” he said, his voice rough.

Gadiel shook his head, smiling wryly. “It’s not pessimism. I’ve been betrothed to the daughter of the president of the UAE since I was a baby. My life was never mine. I’m supposed to marry her in a few months. The clock is ticking. Either I get out now and be happy for a while until they catch me or I stay and live the lie for the rest of my life. I know what I’ll choose.” He laughed a little, the sound lacking any mirth. “It’s death either way. One of them is just faster. Even if I marry her, I’ll slip, sooner or later. Or even if I somehow don’t, I can’t live like that. I just can’t. That life would slowly kill me.”

Christ. It was the twenty-first century. This fucked-up situation shouldn’t exist in the modern world. Things weren’t great for LGBT people back home, either, but there were a lot of people supporting them, too—even though there were narrow-minded assholes everywhere. A nineteen-year-old boy shouldn’t beresignedto death just because of the fact that he liked men. It was fucking barbaric.

But there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t change these people’s way of life, no matter how backward their laws were.

What hecoulddo was grant Gadiel’s wish and help him get together with Scott—no matter how ill-suited they were for each other. Scott might be ill-suited for the kid, but at least he wasn’t an asshole. He was very romantic when he was at the height of his infatuation. He was capable of giving Gadiel a few months of happiness before the honeymoon period ended and they inevitably crashed and burned.

He could help them.

“All right,” Will said with a sigh, pushing his misgivings away. “I’ll help you with Scott.”

The smile that lit up Gadiel’s face was incandescent.

Chapter 7

The next day, as he sat opposite Scott, Will wondered whether he should tell him about Gadiel’s morbid conviction that he wouldn’t live long. But for some reason he couldn’t bring it up. It felt wrong.

It made no sense. Scott was his cousin. He’d taken the job for his sake. His loyalty should be to him first, regardless of what Gadiel was paying him.

And yet, he couldn’t force himself to say anything.Gadiel had opened up tohim, not Scott. It felt private.

“So, how is it going with Gadiel?” Scott said.

Will took a sip of his drink to put off his answer.

“Did he talk to you about me?” Scott said, smirking.

“Why would he talk to me about you when he doesn’t know I’m your cousin?” Will said. “Lying to him, even by omission, makes me uncomfortable. I should have told him we’re related.”

“No way! I’ll look desperate if he finds out! And trust me, no one is into desperate guys.”

Will heaved an irritated sigh. “And what are you going to do, hide that I’m your cousin for the rest of your life? If he’s ‘The One,’ he’ll eventually meet your family.”

That shut Scott up.

But not for long. “Sure,” he said, shrugging. “But we can get away with not introducing you for a long time. You aren’t really family.”

Will said nothing.

“Like, obviously you’re family,” Scott said after a moment of silence, chuckling awkwardly. “You’re almost like a brother to me, always have been. But you aren’treallymy brother. You get what I mean, right?”

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