Page 114 of Love Without Control

“I miss them,” he said in a shaky voice, and dammit, it broke me in two. “But I’m trying to be brave for Mom. Like a man.” To my surprise, a tear that I’d been fighting against for five days finally escaped down my cheek, and Cooper reached up to swipe it away with his little finger. His voice was semi-incredulous. “You’re crying, Dane.”

“There’s no rule that says a man can’t cry,” I told him and watched as his face crumpled. I pulled him against my chest and closed my eyes as his body shook. Fuck, this was so hard. Charles and Mimsy were the best people I’d ever met. “It’s okay, buddy. Just let it out.”

“Why did they have to be in a car wreck?” he asked in a trembling voice against my shoulder.

I wanted to tell him it was because some fuckwit was drunk at nine in the morning and had plowed into their car while they were going out for breakfast. Instead, I said, “I don’t know, Cooper, but I’ll miss them too.”

“Mimsy was so fun, and Papa Charles always took me to the store and bought me my own can of Pringles.” I smiled at the innocence of this sweet child. “I don’t see my real grandparents a lot, but I think Mimsy and Papa were like my grandparents.”

Casting a glance at Eden and Charlisse, who were fussing over the many flower arrangements, I pulled back and wiped Cooper’s tears away before holding him by the shoulders. “I know how you feel. I didn’t have a very good father growing up, so Charles was like my dad.”

I was unsure why I was opening up to a ten-year-old, but my proclamation felt like the thing to say just then.

“I don’t have a dad, so that’s why I have to be the man of the house,” he informed me, lifting his chin stoically.

“And you’re a damn fine one,” I told him, “but it’s okay to have feelings. I do, and I’m a lot older than you. You’re really lucky to have a great mom who loves you more than anything.”

An adoring smile crossed his small face when he looked over at his mother. “She’s the best, but sometimes…” The kid faltered, and he looked down at his black shoes, the shine of them dulled by a fine dusting of dirt.

“But what, Coop?”

His big blue eyes found my brown ones, and I could see the worry in his expression. “I don’t have anyone to talk to about, you know…” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Aboutman stuff.”

“Ahh, I gotcha,” I said, nodding in understanding. “Well, your mom knows a lot, but if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone else aboutman stuff, you can talk to me.”

A smile brightened his adorable face. “That would be awesome, Dane.” Lowering his voice to a conspiratorial level, he leaned into my space. “When do you think I’ll get hair on my chest?”

I couldn’t help my chuckle. “Probably in a few years, buddy. Give it time.”

The women returned, and I stood, straightening my suit jacket. “Everything okay?” Charlisse asked, running a hand over her son’s neatly combed hair.

“Yup,” he replied. “Me and Dane were just talking about man stuff. Like chest hair.”

His mom smiled around her bemusement. “Oh. Well, okay. You ready to get out of that suit, Coop?”

The boy’s body sagged in apparent relief. “Yes, it’s hot out here.” It was September, but the Florida sun bore down with a heavy, humid heat.

I looped an arm around Eden as Charlisse took her son’s hand. “We’ll go home to get changed and then meet you at Charles and Mimsy’s house. The other neighborhood folks were headed over to get lunch started.” Then her mouth turned down in disapproval, lowering her voice, even though we were the only ones left at the cemetery. “I can’t believe their kids showed up for the funeral and then left directly after.”

Eden let out a tiny snort. “Yeah, they gave Dane their phone numbers and told him to call when he’d gotten the house and its contents sold. Then they skedaddled like they had more important things to do.”

I’d been named executor of the Mimses’ wills, and other than a provision about the bakery and a few small bequeathments for some of the neighbors, they’d left everything to their children. But the kids hadn’t seemed keen on clearing out the house and going through their parents’ things.

“It was pretty shitty,” I said before wincing. “Sorry, Cooper.”

The kid smiled up at me. “That’s okay. My mom says that sometimes when she’s doing laundry.”

That brought a moment of levity to the moment, and we all smiled as Charlisse lightly chastised, “Way to call me out, son.” She lifted an eyebrow in our direction. “Let me tell ya, stain removal for a ten-year-old boy is enough to make a nun cuss.”

After they departed, I pulled Eden against my chest and looked at the two mounds of dirt over her shoulder. We’d only known them for six years, but the vibrant couple had become so important in our lives.

Another wave of emotion hit me, and I rubbed my hands up and down my wife’s back. She was dressed in a flowy black dress and suede booties, and, as always, her fresh honey scent soothed something inside me.

“Dane?” she questioned, lifting her tear-soaked face to mine. “Promise me we’ll die like that. Together. Like Mimsy and Charles.”

My heart seemed to deflate and then swell like a balloon in the span of a few seconds, and I kissed the tip of her nose. “There’s no other option, sweetheart. I could never live a day without you.”

Chapter 38

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