Page 47 of Anchor

“Travis…” he chokes, but I shake my head and demand, “Keep to it, Dad.”

“Keep to what?” Art demands.

I look at my old friend, seeing his eyes full of hurt and betrayal, and I admit, “To take care of Micha if I’m unable….”

His eyes widen in shock, hearing my insinuation, while Steal shakes his head and says, “No, you’re not leaving. She’ll survive this, Travis, I swear to fuck she will….”

The room goes quiet, hearing their president’s words, Acid demanding, “What does he mean, Anchor?” not wanting to believe it.

I look at him, a man who has come such a long fucking way, and I state, “I can’t live without her,” and he stumbles back in shock.

“Son,” my mother croaks, and I shake my head and admit, “If she dies, I’m going with her.”

Mom cries while Heaven’s, who I didn’t even see rush in, looks at me in shock, not realizing exactly what her daughter means to me.

“You can’t do that, Travis,” Steal says firmly, “you need to think of your son….”

I laugh darkly and admit, “Iamthinking of him. Without his mother, I’ll be a shell of myself.” I hold my arms out at my side and state, “For ten years, I’ve barely been holding on, and that was with snippets of her. She dies, I go with her because, trust me, Colt, no one will want me around without her; I’ll destroy everything I’ll touch, including my son….”

That said, I storm through the double doors to find my wife, hoping and praying she doesn’t leave me.

18

Anchor

I take a deep breath as I get to the door Cassidy pointed me to, and with everything I can muster, I look up, and my eyes lock onto my wife’s form through the glass. Quickly, before I can fall on my ass, I lean my palms against it, breathing hard at the picture before me, a part of me dying instantly.

Cuts and scrapes mark the left side of her face, from her brow to her lip, and down the left side of her arm; her right hand is in a cast, wires are all over her chest, and a fucking tube is down her throat.

Fuck….

I choke out emotions that want to consume me, tears building, and, fuck me, if I let them fall.

This is my wife, a woman I have loved since I was eighteen, married at nineteen—she’s a woman I fucking hurt, all because I couldn’t see outside of my own ass.

I can’t fucking lose her, I just can’t, not now, not ever. The woman consumes me; she fucking completes me. I’ve already spent ten years on the outside looking in, I can’t spend any more time without her in my life.

I don’t know how long I stand outside her room, watching her, my eyes trained on her chest moving up and down from the ventilator, but a gentle hand touches my arm, getting my attention. I don’t look to see who it is, and I cannot take my eyes off my wife as my body trembles.

“Let’s go inside, Travis,” Heaven’s mom, Tara, whispers.

I shake my head, my feet unable to move, and I admit, “I’ve just gotten her back, ten years, and I’ve only just gotten her back….”

Everything inside me breaks, the thought of her never opening her eyes again tearing me apart from the inside out.

I need her, Micha needs her….

“And you still have her…. You need to think positively, not just for yourself but also for your son,” Tara says firmly, squeezing my arm, trying to move me toward the door, but I still don’t move.

Instead, I rasp, “I go in there, then I’ll hear the machines, I’ll realize I’m not dreaming, that this isn’t a nightmare, and that my wife is not asleep beside me, our baby isn’t tucked safely inside her.” I turn my head and lock eyes with ones that look so much like my wife’s. I choke, “It’ll mean this is really fucking happening, that I could lose her after I’ve fought for ten years to win her back.”

Tears fall down Tara’s cheeks as she takes me in, her eyes focusing on mine, seeing the truth to my words.

“You love my daughter,” she says with realization, more to herself, pain shining in her blue eyes.

“I love her with everything I am. I made a mistake, a drunken stupid mistake that I wish I could take back, a mistake that cost me ten years without her.”

She nods, then concludes, sniffling, “And you would have won her back sooner if it wasn’t for me, continuously reminding her that you took pleasure from someone else, that you’ll take her son from her.”

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