Page 42 of Secret Wolf Baby

Except no matter what I did or how I tried to distract myself, all I could think about was that kiss. It had reignited everything I’d been trying to suppress since Jackson walked back into my life. No matter how hard I tried to deny it or pretend otherwise, I was still attracted to Jackson. I still wanted him. It had taken all of my strength to break that kiss, except I knew I had to. I couldn’t let myself fall for the same tricks. Not again.

I had run out of the room because I knew if I stayed a second longer, I would have given in to those primal urges. I couldn’t let myself do that.

I pushed those thoughts from my head. Or, I tried to. Every time I closed my eyes, I could feel his lips on mine, and my heart pounded with longing.

I needed to get out of there. Which was how, ten minutes later, I found myself running through the woods, chasing after prey as I tried to let the smells of the forest clear my head. I stayed out for well over two hours, just letting myself enjoy the fresh spring air and being out on my own. My wolf relished the chance to run and be outside. She’d felt cooped up lately, and I was happy to let her run free for a while. As I tracked a hare, I let my mind go blank as my wolf’s instincts took over.

By the time I finished, I felt more like myself, and more relaxed about the entire situation. At first, I thought maybe wecould put the kiss behind us, and it would all be forgotten. We could simply move on.

I realized how stupid that hope was almost the instant I walked in the door and heard laughter echo from the living room. Wandering that way, I felt my stomach lurch as I saw Claire and Jackson sitting cross-legged on the floor. Claire’s brow was furrowed in concentration as she stared at two cards in her hand. Jackson had an intense look on his face before he solemnly put down one of his own cards with a hand far larger than Claire’s. The way they were acting, you would think that whatever they were doing was a life-or-death situation.

“Let’s see if this trips you up,” he said.

Claire’s face lit up. “Annnd Uno!” Claire declared as she plopped down her second-to-last card.

“Hmm…” Jackson drummed his fingers against his cheek as he studied his cards and then his opponent. His eyes narrowed in scrutiny. The look was so startlingly similar to one I had seen Claire give me on a number of occasions that I nearly took a step back.

“You’re a worthy foe,” Jackson said in a sinister, melodramatic voice that made Claire giggle. “But can you defeat…this?!” he slammed down one of his cards.

Claire’s triumphant smile told me everything I needed to know. “I win!” She put down her final card.

“Ah, dang it!” Jackson threw up his hands theatrically as his eyes crinkled. The cards that had been in his hand flew up, then fluttered to the ground. “I’ve been defeated.”

“Told you!” Claire cried gleefully. “I’m the best at this game.”

He gave a deferential bow. “I shall never question your expertise again. At least when it comes to Uno.”

Their smiles at that moment were identical in every way, right down to the single dimple on their right side. No wonder Reacher had figured it out. It was a miracle Jackson hadn’t guessed yet.

“Want to play again?” Claire asked hopefully.

Jackson glanced over at me, raising an eyebrow. “Let me see if your mother needs help with anything first.”

I waved a hand. “I’m good.”

“You want to join us, then?” he asked.

“Mom’sterribleat games,” Claire grumbled.

“Hey, now,” Jackson said. “Just because she’s terrible doesn’t mean she can’t play. Besides, if she needs help, I can give her a few pointers.”

I shot him an annoyed look. He winked back with a roguish grin that almost made me laugh. God, when had it become so hard to resist his charm again? I had put up so many walls, but I hadn’t realized how many of them he had chipped away at.

“I’m going to get dinner ready, anyway,” I said. “You guys have fun.”

As I fixed dinner, I listened to the two of them as they moved from game to game. Jackson won a few, but Claire won more. I wasn’t sure if he let her win or if the wins were legitimate, but it didn’t seem to matter. Every time I glanced over while I stood at the stove, they both had wide, genuine grins that were infectious.

I had never pictured Jackson as good with kids. Watching him play with Claire told me I had been dead wrong. It should have made me happy. Claire was getting along with Jackson, who was likely going to be in our lives for the foreseeable future. Instead, it made me uneasy.

What was problematic was that seeing him play with Claire this way, seeing him accept her as if she was his own daughter, made me even more attracted to him. Not just physically but emotionally as well. Despite myself, I could feel that I was falling for him again. I wanted to be near him, to lean against him, to taste his lips on mine once more.

Those thoughts that I had hoped the hunt had eradicated had come back in full force. They plagued me all through dinner, and after. I kept finding myself looking at him without being conscious of it, my thoughts drifting toward what it would feel like to melt into his arms like that one fateful night. No matter how hard I tried, they kept resurfacing. How good he was with Claire. How he’d treated me with kindness and compassion since coming here, letting me heal on my own, but offering to be there when I needed it.

It was getting harder to hate him. But the memories of what he had once done are still there, and they still hurt.

Later, after Claire had gone up to bed, Jackson came over to where I was finished cleaning.

“Doing okay?” he asked. “Thanks for getting that rabbit for dinner. It was great.”