Page 22 of I Would Die for You

“You can haveherinstead, though,” Michael says unkindly, offering Amelia as if she’s discarded goods.

“Let’s go,” says Ben, authoritatively staking his claim as he takes Cassie by the hand and pulls her up.

“Where to?” she giggles, loving how loved she feels right in this moment.

“Somewhere we can be alone,” he says, half dragging her across the suite and into another room.

With the drugs embedded deep within her nervous system, all the red flags that Cassie would usually rely on to forewarn her are stifled by her inherent need to see the good in everyone.

And as Ben locks the door behind him, she smiles, wondering what could possibly go wrong.

11

Nicole had briefly considered moving back home, the guilt of not being by her mother’s side 24/7 laying heavy on her shoulders. But the row with Cassie and their dad last week only served as a reminder that the four of them all being under one roof again might not lend itself to the calm and harmonious environment her mother needs right now.

Nicole had tried to mediate, but Cassie is so deeply entrenched in the fantasy life that following that stupid band has seemingly afforded her that she can’t see the wood for the trees. And their dad is so stubbornly stuck in his ways that he refuses to give her the leeway a sixteen-year-old needs to learn from the mistakes she makes. It seemed as if history was repeating itself and if something didn’t change soon, Nicole wouldn’t be surprised if his overbearing ways didn’t drive Cassie away, just as they had done with her. Though the all-consuming threat of something happening to their mother in the meantime may cause a break with convention.

It’s at times like this, when Nicole’s conflicting emotions threaten to get the better of her, that she turns to the one thing that keeps her sane: music.

These lyrics have been in her head for years, gnawing at her subconscious like a dog with a bone, never quite letting go. But now they hold so much more resonance and she has to give them the space to breathe, if not to comfort herself, then to honor her mum.

She strums her guitar, easing into the four-chord melody. “If you ever loved someone as much as I love you, you’d know there is nothing I wouldn’t do…”Her lilting voice drifts out of the open window of her studio flat.

She takes the pencil from behind her ear. “I’d go to the ends of the earth if I had to…” she chimes, writing it down as she goes. “If it meant…” She chews on the end of the pencil. “If it meant…”

“Nope,” she says abruptly, before ripping the page out of her notebook, scrunching it into a ball and throwing it onto the pile of other discarded lyrics in the corner of the room.

There’s a knock on the door and, knowing she hasn’t buzzed anyone into the communal hallway downstairs, Nicole assumes it’s a neighbor from one of the other tiny flats that the landlord had greedily carved out of the imposing Victorian building.

But as she swings the door open, standing on the threshold is Aaron, the man she’d once naively allowed herself to believe she might marry one day.

“Please, just give me a minute,” he begs, as she goes to shut him out.

“What are youdoinghere?” exclaims Nicole, exhausted by his attempts to get her attention. “It’s almost midnight.”

“I need to talk to you,” he says, his breath reeking of alcohol.

Nicole lets out a heavy sigh. “I’ve told you a million times, there’s nothing you can say that’s going to make any difference.”

“But I can’t imagine my life with anyone but you,” he says.

“Well, you should have thought of that before you screwed Stacey Herriott.”

“I’ve told you how sorry I am—I was drunk and it meant nothing. What more do I have to do?”

Nicole’s heart momentarily tugs at the pained expression that stains his normally handsome face. It would besoeasy to take him back; she misses the love they once shared and is still devastated that the life they’d planned was never going to happen. But she digs deep, remembering her mother’s advice to hold on to the bitter disappointment she felt four months ago when he chose to toss their future aside in favor of a quick shag with a girl not known to be choosy.

“You’ll never respect him again,” Gigi had said. “And if you take him back, you’ll not respect yourself either.”

Back then, Nicole had refused to consider his pathetic attempts to win her over because she didn’t want to letherselfdown. Now she won’t fall for it because she refuses to let her mother down, and as she looks into Aaron’s pleading eyes, Nicole feels nothing but a reinforced resilience.

“For the last time: I willnevercome back to you,” she says. “Now will youpleaseleave me alone and get on with your life.”

A flash of something crosses his face and his top lip curls. “Is there someone else?” he snarls.

The turn of events takes Nicole by surprise. “What?No, of course not!”

“If I find out there is…”

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