Page 77 of I Would Die for You

“You didn’t need to do that,” he goes on. “Because what happened wasn’t your fault.”

My jaw spasms involuntarily and I bite down on my lip. “I know that,” I lie. “But I needed a new start, away from anyone who knew my connection to the case. It would have dictated the rest of my life if I’d stayed in England.”

Brad studies me as if waiting for the cracks to appear in my perfectly curated backstory.

“I get that, but you could have brought your family with you—in spirit, if not physically.”

An involuntary wail comes from deep within my chest, making my shoulders convulse and my face crumple.

“Hey, it’s going to be OK,” he says, wrapping his arms tighter around me, but his empty words ring hollow.

“Brad, I-I need to tell you something…” I sob, knowing it’s now or never.

He looks at me as if he’s been waiting for this our entire marriage, and I can’t help but wonder if the past twenty years have all been a sham. How can we have had a normal relationship when he knows nothing about the events in my life that have made me…me?

“What is it?” he says, holding me away from him.

“I don’t want it to change anything…” I start. “I need you to promise me that.”

He scratches at his head, as if assessing the tall order.

“That woman Zoe, who came up to us at Tino’s… I-I don’t think she is who she says she is…” I half mumble.

“OK…” he says, waiting for the part that’s going to surprise him.

“I think she’s pretending to be a writer, pretending to be looking into Ben Edwards’s case.”

I pull myself up with a start, the sound of his name on my lips so alien to me after all this time.

“You think she’s got an ulterior motive?” asks Brad, his voice cutting into my guilt-ridden memories.

I nod and open my mouth, but my lips form around unspoken words.

“Which is…?” he presses, tempering his impatience.

Say it, Nicole.

“She…” I swallow to moisten my dry mouth. “She has a tape…”

“OK,” he says hesitantly.

“It’s me and Ben singing.”

His jaw tenses. “So, you made music together as well as being lovers?”

I nod. “It was a song I wrote for my mother, and it had a very special meaning. It meant a lot to me.”

His brow furrows as he no doubt wonders how this is relevant in the whole scheme of things. “So how did Zoe get hold of it?” he asks.

I can’t bear to look at him, knowing that what I’m about to say will change everything he ever thought he knew about me.

“She…” My heart is pounding so hard that the drumming is reverberating in my ears. “She…”

Say it, Nicole.

“She got it from her mother.”

“And who is she to you…?” prompts Ben, his patience wearing thin.

---