Page 62 of I Would Die for You

“Nic, open up,” comes his instantly recognizable voice, much too loud for Nicole’s liking. “Please—just give me a minute.”

Shehasto let him in for no other reason than not to wake Cassie and her dad, but moreover, she has to hear him out, if only to satisfy the sadistic streak in her that needs to be told that the relationship she thought they had was never anything more than a sick ploy by him to take advantage of her. He’s clearly used to getting what he wants, however debauched, and she’s almost grateful that he hadn’t asked her for anything more than to love him the only way she knew how.

“You can’t be here,” she hisses, keeping the chain on the door.

“Just give me two minutes,” he begs.

“I can’t do this,” says Nicole. “I’ve got way more important things to be thinking about than you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with this on top of everything else. But if you’ll just give me a chance to explain…”

“There’s nothing you can possibly say that will justify what you’ve done,” she says, close to tears.

“None of it’s true,” he says. “You have to believe me—I would never do that to you.”

She laughs acerbically. “You’ve done it to yourself,” she says. “And you’ll never know how much it’s cost you.”

“I don’t even know the girl who’s said this stuff,” he says.

“You looked pretty cozy in the pictures.”

“The photos were of an ex-girlfriend who I haven’t seen in over a year,” he says, his voice cracking. “That’s what the papers do—put words with pictures of people who have nothing to do with the story.”

“So, the article is completely made up, is it?”

“Well, whoever it is hasn’t been brave enough to be photographed,has she? Anyone could say that shit if they’re not going to be identified. It could be a disgruntled fan, it could even be a journalist having a slow news day—they don’t have to be held accountable, yet my life can be ruined. How is that fair?”

Just for a moment, Nicole gives him the benefit of the doubt, knowing that if he takes enough rope, he’ll only hang himself if he’s lying.

“I didn’t do it,” he says, looking at her imploringly. “You have to believe that I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“You haven’t just hurtme,” says Nicole, her voice breaking. “Look what you’ve done to yourself—to the band. The woman is one thing, but thedrugs.”

He looks at the floor, shaking his head. “I haven’t taken cocaine in over a year and I haven’t slept with another girl since meeting you.”

Nicole tsks and turns away, needing to gather herself. Even if the kiss-’n’-tell is a lie, what about Cassie? And every other girl she doesn’t know about?

“After the article dropped, the police turned up at our hotel with a warrant to search our rooms. It goes without saying that despite their best efforts, they didn’t find anything in mine.”

Nicole looks at him, wide-eyed with expectancy before the penny drops: “Michael.” His name comes out in a rush of breath.

Ben sucks on his teeth as he looks away, his pent-up frustration oozing from every pore.

“So… so, what’s going to happen to him? Toyou?”

“They were going to make an example of him, that’s for sure. But our manager spoke to them and they came to a compromise.”

“How many times are you going to let him get away with this?” asks Nicole, knowing it’s not really her place, but finding it increasingly difficult to understand how Michael is seemingly able to run roughshod over everything Secret Oktober has set out to do.

“It won’t happen again,” he says. “This is the last time, and he knows it.”

Nicole doesn’t suppose it matters—at least not to her. She was a fool to think that this could ever work. The odds are so heavily stacked against them, the obstacles so high to climb, that she convinces herself it can’t possibly be worth it.

“I can’t do this,” she says, going to shut the door. “I don’t want you to contact me again.”

“Don’t say that,” he says, putting his foot out to stop her. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

She bites down on her lip to stop from calling out as a visceral pain tears through her. It feels like her heart is bleeding and her blood is being pumped around her body in the wrong direction, sending her organs into shock. She tries to reason that nothing can possibly be physically wrong with her, but how can it not be, when everything hurts so much?

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