Page 60 of I Would Die for You

“Thing?” questions Nicole.

“I know you think I’m just a kid living in a fantasy world, but what I have with the band has transcended that, and what I have with Ben is something even more—or at least I thought it was, until this!” Cassie picks up the offending article and slams it back downfor effect. “I know there’s always other girls hanging around him, trying their luck, but he promised me before he left that he wouldn’t be tempted—that he wouldn’t risk what we have…”

Nicole circles the tiny room and Cassie can almost hear her brain’s cogs and wheels turning as she tries to figure out how best to approach this.

“What youhave?” she probes. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve been seeing each other for the past two months,” says Cassie. “It’s been a bit on and off because it’s really hard to hold down any kind of relationship when he does what he does—he’s rarely here and, when he is, we can’t be seen together because he’s not allowed to be in a serious relationship, but we had something good going on behind closed doors.” Her lips draw to a thin line, bitterness exuding from her with every syllable. “Or at least I thought we did.”

An involuntary torrent of air rushes out of Nicole as she stands there, open-mouthed and poleaxed.

“Please don’t be mad,” begs Cassie. “I’ve got enough to deal with without having to go up against you as well.”

“You’re deluded,” says Nicole. “This ‘thing’ you think you have is all in your head. It’s not real, and the sooner you realize that the better. You should be going out with people your own age, meeting boys at school, not wasting your time pining over something that’s never going to happen.”

A searing heat prickles Cassie’s extremities, her indignation at Nicole’s poorly chosen words seeping out of every pore. How dare she? An inside force wants to launch itself across the room, to show Nicole who the deluded one really is, but Cassie uses every ounce of her restraint not to, knowing that it won’t serve any purpose to let her sister know how hurt she truly is.

“You’re wrong” is all she says, through gritted teeth.

Nicole snorts. “The likes of Ben Edwards don’t live in the real world. They’re fantasies created to give girls like you a warped perspective on what a normal boy is like, what a normal relationship islike. Just because you’ve got his posters all over your bedroom wall and his car once ran over your foot doesn’t make him your boyfriend.”

“I’m not a child,” says Cassie, infuriated by her sister’s patronizing tone. “And I’m not stupid. I know the difference, and what Ben and I haveisdifferent.”

Nicole throws the paper a dirty look, as if the object itself has offended her.

Cassie picks it up and turns to the first double-page spread, where Ben is pictured, bleary-eyed, leaving a club with a scantily clad blond draped on his arm. “I mean, I can almost forgive him for the girl,” she says, pushing it toward Nicole, who can’t help but blanch. “But I can’t get my head around the drugs. I don’t understand why he’d take the risk, when he’s already skating on thin ice.”

“I thought they were the goody-two-shoes of pop,” she says, as if fishing for information. “This is all news to me.”

Cassie imagines it is. “It’s not common knowledge, but Ben’s already been cautioned.”

“Has he?” says Nicole, her voice wavering. “When?”

“It doesn’t matter,” says Cassie, hoping her reticence to divulge any more information will make Nicole feel even more compelled to press. “I shouldn’t have said anything—I don’t want to betray Ben’s trust.”

“No, come on,” says Nicole. “You obviously think you know something.”

Cassie takes a deep breath, as if she’s mulling over whether to say anything more. “OK, but you really mustn’t tell anyone.” She looks to Nicole, who offers a stilted nod. “So, a couple of months ago there was an after-party at the Savoy. There were lots of drinks and drugs and everyone was having a good time. But just after midnight, the police turned up and raided the place. Ben doesn’t know whether they got a tip-off, but they hauled everyone down to the police station—those they could catch, anyway—to determine who supplied the drugs and who took them.”

The more she says, the more deflated Nicole seems to become, as if someone has taken the valve out that keeps her upright. “That sounds like the rumor mill has gone into overdrive,” she says. “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”

“I didn’thearit,” says Cassie, pausing for effect. “Isawit.”

Nicole laughs. “Right, so you were there the night it all went down, the night that Michael did a runner.”

Cassie cocks her head to one side and narrows her eyes. “How do you know Michael did a runner?”

“What?” Nicole stops in her tracks and laughs nervously. “You just told me.”

Cassie knows she didn’t. She’d gone to great lengths not to. “Ben and I were there together, doing what young people do… until the police turned up, that is.”

Nicole tsks as if it’s of no consequence to her, but a blood-red stain is creeping up her neck, a sure sign that it means more to her than it should. “So, you reckon you’ve been seeing him since then?” she can’t help but ask.

Cassie nods. “We have to be careful, as his reputation relies on him being single, but I was with him at his album launch, I went to the MCA Awards with him last week…”

Nicole blows out her cheeks and looks at her sister as if she’s lost her mind.

“There’ll no doubt be footage of us somewhere,” says Cassie. “Because we walked the red carpet together before realizing there were TV cameras there.”

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