Page 24 of I Would Die for You

I hold in the bloodcurdling fear that we still might have.

He takes hold of my hand and we race toward the Del, a seafront hotel that holds so much significance for the whole Coronado community; the place where marriages are celebrated and children’s baptism parties held. But as I follow the pandemonium down to the beach, I can’t help but wonder if it’s about to take on a more macabre resonance.

“Where is she?” I scream, my lungs burning. “Hannah!”

“Mommy!” comes the tiniest of voices.

The inner strength that’s kept me upright for the past two hours finally deserts me and I collapse onto my knees as she runs into my arms. I breathe her in, nuzzling her hair, never wanting to let her go. She looks the same, she smells the same, but I can’t help but wonder if what she’s been through will have changed something inside.

“Oh baby!” I cry. “My sweet baby.”

“What are all these police officers doing here?” she asks, wide-eyed, their presence seemingly freaking her out more than the fact she’s been somewhere I don’t know about.

“It’s OK, sweetheart,” I say. “We thought you were lost, so Mommy and Daddy asked for help.”

“Hey, Daddy,” she says absently, as if it were just a normal day.

Brad’s jaw spasms and every sinew in his body fights against the inherent need to scoop her up, for fear that making too much of a fuss will unsettle her.

“Hey, Bean,” he says, his face lighting up as her nickname leaves his lips. If he’s had any of the thoughts that I’ve had these past two hours, he’ll no doubt have tortured himself with the possibility that he might never hear himself say it again.

“So, where have you been hiding?” I ask, careful to keep my voice level, even though I’m near to hysteria—with relief, anger, and a desperate need to know everything that’s happened to my daughter since I saw her last.

“I’ve been with my auntie,” she says, the innocence of her voice so at odds with the sinister words. “Did you forget that she was picking me up from school today?”

I bang my forehead with the heel of my hand. “I did!” I say, choosing to go with the story through her eyes, hoping it prompts her to disclose more along the way. “How dumb are we?”

She giggles. “Really dumb.”

“So, did you have a nice time with”—my sing-song voice falters—“with… Auntie?”

She nods. “We went to see the fighter jets and I told her that’s where Daddy works.”

An involuntary shiver runs down my spine as I wonder whether the more information this woman has on my family, the more dangerous she is. But then I remember that, if it’s the same person who appeared on my doorstep today, she already knows enough to put a bomb under our very existence and watch it explode.

“Did you tell her whereIwork?” I probe, gently.

“She already knew,” says Hannah. “I told her I was going to be a seal doctor when I grow up.”

In any other world, I’d revel in the impact my work has had on her—but not in the dark, dangerous one I’m currently being forced to live in.

I look to Brad, whose furrowed brow is questioning who this woman is and what she wants. I daren’t tell him that I might already know.

“Do you fancy some ice cream?” I say, if only to stop the cold claw of terror wrapping itself around my heart.

“I’ve got a welfare officer on the way,” says Hank. “Just to give Hannah the once-over and check she’s OK.”

I shake my head in an effort to force my stunned brain to understand how a stranger is better placed to know how my daughter is than I am.

“We’ll be fine,” I say, looking to Brad. “I just want to get things back to normal as quickly as possible. She’ll tell us what happened in her own time.” Though how I’m supposed to stop myself from asking a thousand questions until then, I don’t know.

Hannah’s taken hold of my hand and gives it a tug. “Come on,” she says, taking advantage of my unusual offer of a sweet treat before dinner. “Let’s go get that ice cream.”

“We need to get to the bottom of this,” Brad says to Hank. “I want to knowexactlywho this woman is and why she took our daughter.”

Hank nods gravely. “I’ll do my best to find out.” Hannah swingsbetween us as we walk away from the crowd, their relief as palpable as our own. But for me, the respite is brief as, among their smiling faces, all I can see are the twisted features of a woman who is intent on getting my attention. She’s everywhere I look, throwing her head back as she laughs with thin lips, her eyes burrowing into my soul in desperate pursuit of the truth. And I can’t help but shiver as I question just how far she’s willing to go.

We eat our ice cream with enforced joviality, pretending it’s just like any other day, but as soon as we get home, I’m unable to stop my brain from going into overdrive, desperately needing to know what Hannah knows.

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