Page 77 of The Half Sister

‘You need to shut up,’ says Simon, tightening his grip.

‘Is this what you have to do now? To feel like a real man.’ She sounds braver than she feels.

Even in the darkness, she can see the glassiness of his eyes as he glares at her – the sliver of moonlight emphasizing his disbelief as his wife, fuelled by months of animosity and isolation, dares to fight back.

‘I’m warning you,’ says Simon. ‘Shut up.’

He pushes her and she stumbles backwards, catching her foot on the base of the toilet. She tries to right herself but it’s too late – she’s in freefall and it takes a second or two for her to react, throwing her hands out. She lands awkwardly, half in, half out of the bathtub, and in her effort to break her fall, she’s jarred her wrist. It throbs – like something out of aTom and Jerrycartoon.

Lauren looks up at the shadow looming over her, sure that, even if the lights were on, she’d still not recognize the man she’s been married to for six years.

‘If youevertouch me again,’ she says breathlessly, ‘I swear to God I’ll take the kids and leave.’

It feels strangely euphoric to have finally found her voice after months of fearing she’d lost it.

‘You wouldn’t dare,’ he sneers.

She lifts herself up, grimacing as she puts weight on her pulsing wrist, and reaches for the light pull.

‘Try me,’ she says, locking eyes with him as the tiny room is illuminated. ‘Just try me.’

32

Kate

Kate wakes up, feeling as if she’s just fallen asleep. For a split second, she thinks that everything that played out last night was a dream – a horrific one, but a dream none the less. The creeping realization that all the thinking, shouting and crying happened in real life chokes her mind and body with a grip so tight that she can barely breathe.

As soon as she got home from Jess’s flat she’d called Matt, desperate to hear his voice, desperate to tell him what was going on and desperate for him to tell her that she’d got it all wrong. But instead, he’d said he couldn’t talk and that he’d probably need to stay in Birmingham overnight.

‘I want you to come home,’ she’d said.

‘Has something happened?’ he asked, his voice thick with concern. ‘Are you okay?’

For a moment she considered saying no, but she knew what he was referring to and she could never demand his presence underthatpre-requisite.

‘The baby’s fine,’ she’d said. ‘But I’d like you to come home once you’ve done what you need to do.’

Matt had laughed awkwardly. ‘Darling, you know how these things work. I could be here all night, but I’ll make sure I’m back in time for our hospital appointment in the morning.’

‘It’s got nothing to do with that,’ snaps Kate.

‘So what’s up?’

She’d thought about telling him over the phone, but knew that whatever was going on, needed to be spoken about face-to-face. And besides, what was she supposed to say?I think the woman who is there with you, hundreds of miles away from me, is actively looking to destroy my world?At best it sounded melodramatic and at worst needy; neither of which she was prone to being.

‘Why don’t you go to your mum’s?’ he’d offered. ‘If you don’t want to be on your own.’

‘I don’t want to go to my fucking mother’s,’ she’d said, battling to keep the lid on the pressure cooker she felt she was submerged in. ‘I want you to come home.’

‘But darling, I—’

‘D’you know what?’ she yelled. ‘Don’t fucking bother. Stay there. Do what you want – I don’t care.’

She’d thrown herself onto the bed, unaccustomed to feeling so vulnerable and out of control. She wanted to blame Jess; after all, if she hadn’t have turned up, Matt wouldn’t be with her. But then it occurred to her that it was Lauren’s fault for bringing her into the fold. If she hadn’t had gone looking, then they would still be blissfully ignorant, pretending that their family held no more secrets than any other. Though if it wasn’t for Rose, Jess wouldn’t exist for Lauren to have found.

All of a sudden, Kate’s whole world had felt as if it was tumbling down. It seemed that everyone she loved, and had thought she could rely on, was actually working against her. And the one person who would always have her back, no matter what, was dead.

As the night had worn on and her toxic thoughts had poisoned her brain, she’d called Matt again and again, looking to trade her paranoia for his reassurance, but every time, his phone had gone straight to voicemail.

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