Page 62 of The Half Sister

Jess fixes her with an intense gaze. ‘Why not?’

‘My father was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a murderer.’

‘How would youknow? How wouldanyof us know what someone is capable of, until they find themselves in that unenviable position? People can make snap judgements. Maybe your dad just snapped.’

‘It was a mistake coming here,’ says Lauren. ‘I thought it would help you find closure, but it seems it’s only served to open up new wounds.’ She takes Jess’s hands in hers. ‘This isnotyour story. You were adopted by a loving couple who loved you as if you were their own. Why don’t you focus on them, remember what they were to you, because you’re never going to find what you’re looking for here.’

Jess nods her head solemnly and looks to the floor.

‘They were everything I could have wished for and more.’

‘Exactly,’ says Lauren. ‘Don’t ever lose sight of that.’

‘Until they told me I was adopted.’

The hairs on Lauren’s arms prickle as she imagines how hard that must have been; for both Jessandher parents.

‘How old were you when you found out?’ asks Lauren softly, wondering if there’s ever a ‘good’ age to be given that kind of information.

‘I’d just turned eighteen.’

It hits Lauren for the first time how it must feel to live a whole life before being told that everything you thought was true wasn’t. It occurs to her then that the same could be said for Kate, who has had over thirty years of her life shattered, her love and respect for her father smashed into a million pieces. No wonder she doesn’t want to believe it.

‘How did they break it to you?’ asks Lauren, hoping that it was gently.

Jess looks off into the distance. ‘They sat me down, just before I went off to university,’ she says. ‘They said that I’d always been their special girl and that no matter what they were about to tell me, nothing would ever change.’ A tear rolls down her cheek.

Lauren’s heart feels as if it might break.

‘They told me how proud they were of the woman I’d become and that seeing me go off to university was a dream come true. But that there was something that I needed to know.’

‘Why did they decide to tell you then?’

Jess shrugs her shoulders. ‘I guess they were worried that I’d somehow find out another way. I was going out into the big wide world for the first time.’

‘And how did you feel?’ asks Lauren.

‘Broken,’ says Jess. ‘I can’t explain how it feels to discover that your parents aren’t who you thought they were. You’re probably feeling that in some small way now; having spent all these years thinking Harry was perfect, immortal even, only to find he was anything but – quite literally.’

Lauren smiles wryly. ‘I never thought my father was perfect.’

‘What happened between you?’ says Jess, tilting her head to one side. ‘I don’t mean to talk out of turn, but I can sense an animosity there.’

‘We had our issues and our differences,’ says Lauren. ‘They were deeply rooted and were difficult to see past, but we tried to, especially in the last few years.’

‘And Kate?’ asks Jess. ‘Did she have the same relationship?’

‘Oh God, no!’ exclaims Lauren. ‘They were as thick as thieves – always were.’

‘That must have been difficult,’ says Jess.

‘For me, yes. I felt I was his testing ground, the one he got to practise his parenting on, and she was the one who benefitted from the mistakes he made.’

Lauren wipes the tears that unexpectedly spring from her eyes.

‘Hence why Kate’s not as open to the idea of him having had an illegitimate child,’ says Jess.

‘Exactly,’ says Lauren sniffing. ‘But she’s going to have to get used to it, because you’re unequivocal proof that he did.’

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