Page 52 of The Half Sister

‘Okay,’ says Jess, shrugging her shoulders. ‘What about if we don’t have any expectations? What if we just go up there for the day, just because we can? It would be lovely to spend some time with you and the children.’

Lauren is fast running out of excuses. ‘But it’s a long way and I really haven’t got the money for the rail fare.’

‘It’ll be my treat,’ says Jess quickly. ‘I’m getting my first pay cheque on Friday.’

‘Well, that decides it then,’ says Lauren, half laughing. ‘I’m not having you spending your hard-earnt money onme.’

‘It’ll be a small price to pay if it means spending a day with my sister,’ says Jess.

Lauren smiles and looks at her through narrowed eyes. ‘And you won’t be disappointed if we don’t find anything out about your mum?’

‘I promise,’ says Jess.

The doorbell buzzes around the room, shrill and urgent, making Jude jump and stick his bottom lip out before he’s even opened his eyes.

‘Oh shit, sorry,’ says Jess, as Jude launches into a full-on paddy. ‘It’ll probably be someone for one of the other flats. I’ll go and let them in, otherwise they’ll only keep ringing.’

Lauren looks at her watch as she goes to lift Jude out of his seat. ‘He’s probably getting hungry again,’ she says to Jess’s retreating back. She bobs Jude up and down on her shoulder, pacing the floor as she walks the hallway of the flat. She walks into the bathroom at the end, before turning around and poking her head into the open door of a bedroom. Like the rest of the place, Lauren notices that it’s tidy and immaculately clean. Another door stands closed and she tries the handle, but it won’t budge. She twists it the other way and applies a little pressure, but it’s locked tight.

Unperturbed, Lauren walks to the front window in the kitchen, to look out onto the street below. There, propped up against a flowering orchid, are three envelopes, all addressed to Harriet Oakley.

‘My flatmate,’ says Jess, taking Lauren by surprise.

‘Oh, I didn’t mean to...’ starts Lauren, letting them fall back onto one another. ‘So the other room...’

Jess follows Lauren’s eyes into the hall. ‘Yes, she’s away at the moment,’ she says. ‘It’sherflat actually. She’s just letting me stay until I get on my feet.’

‘That’s nice of her,’ says Lauren, still jiggling Jude in her arms.

‘Could I hold him?’ asks Jess.

Lauren looks at her, still barely more than a child herself as she takes Jude carefully in her arms, bringing his head up to her face to smell him. She wonders what she’s thinking; is she questioning how her parents could have ever given her away? Or is she asking why they didn’t stop to think about that before creating a human being in the first place?

22

Kate

A cold shower is the only thing that brings Kate out of her numb stupor. As she shampoos her hair, her hands grow more and more urgent as she works up a lather.

‘What the hell are theyplaying at?’ she says over and over.

Hearing herself out loud makes her realize that she’s not trapped in a nightmare, and the harsh reality of the situation has her asking what she’s going to do about it. Whenever she’s had a problem, she’s always been able to turn to Matt, who she knows would have her best interests at heart. But clearly he’s not going to help her out on this one. Her dad would always be a close second, ready to hand out wise advice whenever she needed it, but she has to remind herself that he’s not here, and once again she feels his absence keenly.

Cooler from the shower, but still desperate for some much-needed air, she opens the balcony doors overlooking the O2 dome – a venue that has been host to a million stars. With its crane-like posts protruding from its roof, it’s one of the reasons why her and Matt had bought their apartment on the peninsula. They love that on a warm summer’s evening they can sit on the balcony and listen to the thumping bassline of whoever was performing inside. But even that simple joy seems like a lifetime away now.

She’s curled up on the bed, her pillow wet with tears, when she hears Matt’s key in the lock. Any other time, she’d feel a sliver of excitement that he was home, but tonight there’s a weight on her chest and a ball of anxiety lodged in her throat.

It would be easier to stay here in the dark and pretend she was asleep, but she’s never been one for the easy option. She wants to watch the husband, who she’s loved and trusted for the past ten years, as he explains himself, because seeing his face will tell her if he’s telling the truth.

She flicks on the reading light and pulls herself up onto the headboard.

‘Hey,’ he says as he walks into the room. He lowers the book that Kate’s just grabbed from the bedside table and leans in to give her a kiss on her forehead. ‘Jeez, it’s hot out there.’

She can feel a faint line of perspiration along the top of his lip and offers a tight smile. ‘How did it go?’ she asks, as casually as she can.

He turns his back on her to hang his jacket up in the wardrobe. ‘How did what go?’

She doesn’t even know what she’s asking herself. ‘The pub,’ she says.

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