Page 30 of The Half Sister

Her thumb hovers over the disingenuous contact, imagining what her first words will be if and when she’s brave enough, or stupid enough, to call him. The ringing doorbell infiltrates her thoughts.

‘Hi,’ says Jess, holding a small bouquet of flowers and a bottle of white wine.

Lauren looks at her, a younger, slimmer version of herself, and feels a very real tug in her chest. Without even knowing she was going to do it, she pulls Jess into her, hugging her tightly and breathing her in.

‘It’s good to see you,’ she says, before holding her at arm’s length to look at her.

Jess smiles. ‘You too. I bought you these.’ She holds up her offerings. ‘I don’t know if you drink wine, or like flowers...’

‘Thank you,’ says Lauren, taking them from her. ‘Come in, come in.’

They talk their way through their first glass of wine, chatting about anything and everything that has nothing to do with why Jess is here.

‘So, I guess your mother hasn’t taken it too well either,’ Jess eventually says.

Lauren shakes her head. ‘No, I’m afraid not.’

‘I’m not surprised,’ says Jess. ‘It must be very hard.’ She looks at Lauren, as if gauging whether she should say what she’s about to. ‘Especially now that your dad has passed.’

Lauren nods. ‘It’s a shock for everyone.’

‘But not so much for you, it seems.’

Lauren looks at her, meeting her gaze. ‘As I said, I’ve had time to get used to the idea.’

‘Am I who you came looking for?’ asks Jess.

Lauren swallows, taking time to formulate her answer. ‘I don’t know who I was looking for. I just wanted to find a way to bring my family together and I thought that widening our circle, finding other family members, might be a way to do it.’

‘Yet it’s had the opposite effect,’ says Jess.

Lauren clears her throat and tears immediately spring to her eyes. ‘I...erm...’

Jess gets up from the armchair she’s sitting in and goes to Lauren on the sofa, putting an arm around her shoulders.

‘This is silly,’ Lauren chokes. ‘I should be the one comfortingyou.’

‘What’s upsetting you?’ asks Jess.

‘It was just a horrible time,’ says Lauren.

‘What was?’

‘When...when you were born...’ Lauren clamps a hand to her mouth, knowing she’s already said too much.

‘What do you mean, how do you...?’ falters Jess. ‘Do youknowwhen I was born?’

Lauren’s head scrambles to backtrack, trying to get herself out of the precarious position she finds herself in.

‘I was young, and it was...it was...’

‘What do you know?’ pushes Jess.

Lauren rubs at her head, frustrated with herself. This wasn’t the plan. ‘As I say, I was young and...’ She feels Jess’s arm fall away from her back. ‘It was a really difficult time and...’

‘And?’ urges Jess.

‘I was seventeen and on my way home from school when I saw Dad.’ She dares to look at Jess. ‘It was nothing. I shouldn’t have...’

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