Page 51 of The First Mistake

‘I can’t thank you enough,’ I whispered, our faces almost touching.

‘I’m just so happy that I was able to get him back for you.’

His lips brushed mine and I so desperately wanted him to stay. If it hadn’t been his mother he was going to see, I would have done everything in my power to convince him to. I was that close to letting him know how I felt, regardless of the consequences. If he ran in the opposite direction then so be it, but I needed to get across the effect he was having on me because it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before.

When he didn’t call the next day, and the weekend had been spent staring at the phone, willing it to ring, I convinced myself I’d done something terribly wrong. What had I said? Nothing,yet. But the power of the unspoken word should never be underestimated. Had he known what I was about to say? Was he scared that I wanted to take our relationship one step further? I didn’t know what that was yet, but I couldn’t let him go. Though perhaps, innotsaying something, I already had.

‘Are you sure he’s not married?’ asked Maria in the pub after work.

‘I have absolutely no idea,’ I said, having wondered the very same thing the night before.

‘Would you carry on seeing him if you found out he was?’

‘Absolutely not,’ I said, taking umbrage that she even needed to ask. ‘I would never cross that line and besides, that isn’t the type of relationship I’m looking for.’

‘What type of relationshipareyou looking for?’ she asked. ‘Because, honestly, right now, it seems that this one is based on sex.’

‘But it’sreallygood sex, M,’ I sighed.

Maria rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t suppress a grin. ‘You can’t allow that to cloud your judgement,’ she said. ‘There’s more to a relationship than mind-blowing orgasms.’

I raised my eyebrows as if questioning the validity of her statement. ‘Is there?’

‘A relationship cannot survive on sex alone; it has to have something more. You need to be compatible inlife, not just in bed.’

‘We’re harmonious in many ways,’ I said. ‘We talk ...’

‘A few post-coital words do not constitute a conversation,’ she said, laughing.

‘We’ve got something deeper than that. Well, at least I thought we had.’

‘Does he know that?’

I pulled an apologetic face.

‘Oh great,’ she said, lifting her hands in frustration. ‘So you’re now pining like a love-sick puppy for a man who doesn’t even know that you’ve fallen for him. Have you gone this long without speaking before?’

I nodded.

‘So, nothing’s changed apart from how you feel. And just because you’ve now decided you want more, he’s supposed to jump to?’

I nodded meekly.

‘Jeez, the poor man’s not telepathic, Beth!’

‘I know, I know,’ I said. ‘Iwilltalk to him, if I ever get the chance.’

She took hold of my hand. ‘Listen, this may not be what you want to hear at the moment, but I’m being serious when I say there has to be more to a relationship than—’

‘I understand your concern,’ I said, patting her hand like my grandmother used to do to me.

‘Stop taking the piss,’ she laughed, pulling it away.

‘You’d be surprised how intellectually stimulating we find each other as well.’

‘I’ll bet,’ she said, rolling her eyes.

‘I mean it!’ I exclaimed. ‘We’ve spoken at length about the value of wine, its investment potential and the upsides to repack sales.’