Page 72 of The First Mistake

Nausea continued to swirl around, slowly snaking its way up towards my throat.

‘Excuse me,’ I managed to blurt out to Maria as we passed each other at the door to the ladies. A second later and she’d have been wearing the contents of my stomach.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked gingerly through the flimsy door.

‘Er, no,’ I managed, stating the obvious. ‘I don’t feel so good.’

‘Oh God, you don’t think it was that porridge, do you? We’ll all be in here in a minute.’

‘I don’t think I’m going to manage canoeing this morning,’ I said, just before the thought of it brought along another wave of nausea.

‘No worries, do you want me to stay here with you?’ she said.

‘No, I’m fine,’ I said, opening the cubicle door.

‘Jesus, you look like shit,’ she exclaimed. ‘What do you think’s going on?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said honestly, doubting that the growing feeling of trepidation about the deal could cause me to be physically sick. ‘If you could cover for me I’d be really grateful.’

‘Of course,’ she said, rubbing my back. ‘Did you manage to get hold of Thomas?’

It was all I could do to shake my head. ‘Not yet, I’ll try him again later.’

‘Why don’t you go back to your room and get some rest? I’ll check in with you at lunchtime to see how you’re feeling.’

I managed to send the children off with a smile on my face, trying to ignore my nagging conscience when little Theo said, ‘But Miss Russo, it won’t be as much fun without you.’

‘Of course it will,’ I said, ruffling his hair. ‘We’ve got abseiling this afternoon and I wouldn’t miss that for the world.’

Except the world, it seems, is a precarious place. One tiny tilt of the axis and we’re all at sea.

‘Have you definitely not got any messages for me?’ I asked at the hostel lobby, just before lunch. ‘Might someone else have taken a call?’

The man shook his head unhelpfully.

‘I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to stay the course,’ I said when Maria came to visit me in my room. It wasn’t strictly true – Icouldhave seen it through – but I didn’t feel well enough to be scaling down mountains and building a raft in the middle of a lake. At best, I was going to have to base myself at the hostel, which was unwelcoming at the best of times, least of all when you’re ill and want your own bed. I didn’t let on that I felt compelled to get home as quickly as I could, just to check that everything was okay with Thomas. Once I was satisfied, I would come back, free of the apprehension that was slowly poisoning my body.

I held my phone on my lap for the taxi journey to the station, impatiently waiting for the service bars to light up. We were a good four miles from the base of Snowdonia when my phone sprang into action. Ping after ping resounded as the driver tutted, no doubt used to townies who were restless and testy, eager to get back to civilization.

Is everything okay?

Did it happen?

Can you call me when you can please?

I’ve seen a wonderful kitchen

Just let me know when it’s done

I’m worried – please call me

Message after message illuminated the screen. Every single one of them from Mum.

27

By the time I pulled into London Euston I’d called Thomas ten times and was verging on hysteria. If he wasn’t dead, he’d better have a bloody good excuse.

When I turned the corner of my road and saw his car parked up outside the flat, I felt all the air rush out of me. It didn’t rule him out of having had an accident, or worse. But itdidmean that he was there, we were still together, and he hadn’t done the dirty on us with Mum’s money, because rightly or wrongly that’s all I could think about.

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