Page 134 of The Girlfriend Zone

A better boyfriend.

I haven’t said those words exactly. But that’s what I want. I want to show her I can be that for her. I have plans for her. If she’ll have me.

She cups my cheek. Her hand soothes some of the guilt away. “But it’s also okay if you’re human. You don’thave to be perfect. You don’t have to take it all on. I can take things on too.”

“I know that, but I want to take things on for you,” I say. If she’ll let me. If she’ll allow me to carry whatever burdens she needs carried.

“I know you will. You’re amazing with me.” She takes a breath, her eyes searching mine. “And don’t let the past eat you up. We all say things we regret—it’s what we do next that matters.”

Next.I want all the nexts with her.

But I don’t want to lose her with the intensity of my emotions. When my dad took off, I stepped up, learned to cook, handled the cleaning, looked out for my siblings, aced every class, helped in every way. I took everything on as I moved forward. But I’m not that kid anymore. I’m an adult, so maybe I can move forward one step at a time. Starting with a simpler next.

“Next,” I say, turning the word over, tasting its sweetness, the possibility it holds. “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that on Sunday night, you might leave. And I don’t want you to leave.”

Her lips twitch, and the hint of a smile she gives me feels like hope. “What are you saying, then?”

“I want you here,” I say, an admission that sounds as helpless as I feel right now. “So damn much. It’s all I think about, Leighton. That’s part of why I felt awful earlier. Because when Tyler asked me about you, I said we were friends, and I felt as terrible lying to him as I felt lying to your father.”

Something dark passes in her eyes. “I didn’t like having to do that earlier today either. I don’t know how long I can do it,” she says, and that’s the crux of the issue.

We’re sneaking around. This thing with us isborrowed time. Soon, we’ll have to do what I’ve always done in life—move forward. Is she ready, though, like I think I am? “I don’t like saying we’re just friends. Though you are…a friend, and I love that,” I say, taking a small step.

I love so much more about her, but I keep that inside.

Leighton challenges me gently, asking, “What are we, then?”

I hold her beautiful gaze, my heart beating so fast as I say, “So much more than friends. And I want you to stay for longer. Can you…can you just…stay?”

Maybe a few more days, weeks, and we can figure it out. Maybe then she’ll know what I already know—that she’s the one for me.

“No one has to know,” she says, almost like a question.

“No one,” I confirm, since her yes is all I want.

“Just us,” she adds.

“You and me,” I say out loud, and in my head I tell myself I’ll show her that I can be not just a better boyfriend—but the best one. And maybe then she’ll be where I am. Ready too.

“You and me,” she says, reaching for my hand.

I squeeze her fingers and it feels like a promise for a future.

Then she nods to the stairs. “Right now, though, there’s something I want to do.”

I follow her. I’d follow her anywhere.

“A do-over.”

Leighton’s words shimmer in the night air as she leadsme into the bedroom. Her camera is perched on the tripod and positioned toward the bed.

A do-over for the day we spent together that started in her studio, and also a do-over for last night.

Except as I glance around the bedroom—ours, this is definitely our bedroom—I wonder if she planned a sexy treasure hunt again. I scan for the evidence, but of course she’d hide lacy things better for a geocacher like me. I’ve got a feeling though—a gut feeling—that she means something else. Something that makes my cells crackle with excitement.

When she meets my searching gaze with mischievous blue eyes, she asks, “Are you ready?”

She has no idea. “I’m always ready for you,” I say.

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