Page 92 of Edge of Unbroken

“How the hell do you already know?” I’m incredulous at how quickly news travels.

He chuckles wryly. “Shane texted me. He said you, Tori, and Vada got into a fight at school because some girl called you a name?”

I nod at him. “Some junior I’ve never even exchanged one word with called me a blonde-haired hockey glory hole.”

Steve laughs out loud. “Holy shit, that’s lame. And so Vada just clocked the chick?”

“Yep. Punched a tooth right out of the girl’s head. She really is a badass.” I should take a page or two out of Vada’s book. Maybe people would feel less inclined to mess with me. I bet Vada has never been blackmailed with nudes, has never stolen from her best friends to prevent a dirty, dark secret being brought to light.

Steve’s laughter increases in volume, and it’s so genuine and contagious that I too begin to laugh. I guess it really is only a choice between laughing or crying, and laughter seems like the better option.

“Fuck, things really have been complete and utter shit, huh?” he asks, his face alive with amusement at the absurdity of what we’ve all been going through.

“You can say that again.” He doesn’t even know the half of it.

“God, I mean, I don’t know about you, or, actually, I do, but… I’m ready for all of this shit to be over. I’m ready for it to be, like, two years later, or… fuck, just take me six months down the road to some semblance of normal again, you know? I want Ran home, I want this fucking trial to be over, I want my mom’s shit out of our house, I want to just hang out at Shane’s with everyone again…”

My heart aches in my chest at his words, a reminder of how much each of us is going through. While I continue to struggle with Ronan’s absence and suffer from Adam’s torment, the rumors and insults, my friends have had to endure their own struggles.

“So, how are you doing?” I ask him when silence falls over the car.

He shrugs. “Getting used to the idea of Penny living with us, I guess. She’s officially moving in next weekend.” I was already aware of that since my mom and Penny talk all the time. My mom wasn’t so sure if it’s a good idea for Penny to move in while Ronan is still away, but Penny shared that Frank had followed my mom’s advice. He spoke with Ronan’s therapist and even Ronan himself, who apparently gave the green light. Just exactly howgreenthat green light was is a different question.

“And I mean, I miss Vada, obviously. I didn’t end things because I don’t love her anymore; I ended them because I don’t feel like myself right now. I have a hard time focusing on our relationship. I know I’ve been jumpy and reactive and it’s just not fair to her,” he says, staring at the road. “I’m just… I feel really protective of Ran, and Vada and I have been fighting so much. I don’t know…” He trails off with a deep sigh.

“Did you start seeing a therapist?” I ask carefully, not wanting to invade his privacy or overstep my bounds.

“Yeah, on Monday, actually,” he says with a nod. “I’m going to see him once a week for a while.”

“Oh, you’re not seeing the same therapist as Ran?” I know Ronan’s therapist is a woman.

“No. My dad contacted her and she said I could, but it would feel weird, like I’m intruding on Ran’s space. I feel like his therapist needs to just be his therapist, you know? He’s got so much to work through. I don’t know.”

“That makes sense.”

“But she recommended the guy I’m seeing, so…”

“So, how was your first session?”

“Pretty good. It’s weird opening up to a complete stranger, but I think it’ll be helpful in the long run. Or at least I hope it will be.”

“I think it will be.”

“I still feel really weird about it,” he says. “Like, I don’t have anything to complain about; my life has always been good, you know. I mean, my mom wasn’t the warmest of mothers, even with me, but she never hit me and rarely raised her voice. I got away with almost everything. I broke curfew I don’t know how many times and I never got in trouble for it,” he says. “Ran did, though. We could be doing the exact same shit, but only Ran would get in trouble for it. It’s… it’s fucking psychotic,” Steve grunts, then glances at me. “I’ve seen some more of the surveillance,” he says, the tension rising in his body. “I try not to watch that stuff, but sometimes, when my dad is in the middle of reviewing it… it’s like I can’t help myself. I want to know and not know at the same time, you know? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Actually, I think it makes complete sense,” I say with a nod. “I feel the same way. I want to know what Ran went through so I can understand and empathize with him. It feels like I don’t really know Ran at all if I don’t know about his darkest, most painful moments.”

“Yeah, well, I think we’re going to get to know him really well during that damn trial. I’m trying to prepare myself for the things we’re probably going to hear and see, but I’m not sure anyone can ever really be prepared for what Ran went through…” Steve pulls into a wide alley behind some industrial buildings.

“Uh, what are we doing here? You’re not planning on killing me and dumping my body, right?” I look out through the passenger window. There’s not a soul in sight. Strange, considering where we live.

“Nope, but this would definitely be a good place to do it,” he says with a throaty laugh. “I’m going to teach you how to drive a stick shift.”

“Right now?”

“Right now. I’ll just show you the basics for now. It’ll take some practice to really get comfortable with it, but I promise you this: by the time Ran comes home, you’ll be a damn pro at driving this baby.”

Ronan

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