Page 31 of Edge of Unbroken

“How was your trip to Colorado?” I ask Summer.

She proceeds to tell us all about her week-long snowboarding adventure with her two older brothers in Aspen from which she returned on Wednesday—the same day I returned from North Carolina.

We pull up to Shane’s mother’s beach house forty minutes later, and I smile. If there’s one person who knows how to throw a proper New Year’s Eve party slash eighteenth birthday party, it’s Shane. I can hear the music before I even spot the string lights hanging along the wraparound porch, and the street is already lined with so many cars that I’m afraid we’ll have to walk a mile on foot to get to the house. But Zack pulls up to the driveway and I’m relieved to find that Shane—ever thinking ahead—has reserved the driveway for his closest of friends.

I take note of Shane’s white Jeep Wrangler, Steve’s black Challenger, and Drew’s blue Camaro all parked in the large driveway. My heart gives a little jolt at the absence of Ronan’s satin-black Mustang, which would usually be pulled in right next to Shane’s Jeep. I miss him so unbearably much.

We make our way up the front stairs and through the crowded house to find Shane sitting, with Tori by his side, on the deck behind the house, a fire already crackling in the fire pit that nicely centers the comfortable rattan sectional outdoor sofa where I spent so many evenings wrapped in Ronan’s arms last summer.

Vada immediately makes her way to Steve, who drapes his arm over her shoulder the moment she sits next to him, while I lean into him for a one-armed hug. I’ve been spending a lot of time talking and hanging out with Steve since Ronan left, and I enjoy seeing him, especially since he looks so much like his little brother, even with the rather obvious differences, like the color of their eyes and hair.

“Did Cat already tell you guys who she got to talk to last Sunday?” Steve says with a grin when I sit down next to Tori after giving her and Shane a quick hug.

“No! Who?” Vada asks, turning her attention from Steve to me.

“The guy who makes her heart go thump, thump,” he chuckles.

Shane is all ears. “Hold up! You talked to Ran?”

I nod, my face warm. “He called me last weekend. I guess he’s allowed to talk on the phone on Sundays, but only for an hour.”

“Fuck, yes! That’s the best damn news. How is he?” Shane asks with so much concern in his voice. I know how much what happened to Ronan has affected him. I see it in his eyes and face whenever Ronan comes up in conversation, know it from what Tori tells Vada, Summer, and me whenever it’s just the four of us hanging out. We’re all so worried about Ronan, but Steve, Shane, and I seem to struggle the most.

“He seemed better than the last time I saw him,” I say. I note the relief in Shane’s face. “It’s hard to really gauge just by talking to him, but he definitely laughed a few times, which I feel like he hadn’t done in a while. He didn’t sound quite so exhausted.”

Shane exhales deeply, the tension in his shoulder waning. “God, that’s so good to hear. Do you have his number?”

“Yeah, I have the number he called me from, but you can’t talk to him,” I say protectively.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because he only gets an hour and I’m not sharing.” I cross my arms in front of my chest.

“Are you for real?” Shane asks, analyzing my face with a deep crease on his handsome brow.

“Absolutely,” I say, but smile.

“Don’t be offended, man,” Steve says. “I’m pretty sure Ran would much rather talk to Cat than any of us. I didn’t even get to talk to him last weekend. My dad called him to let him know about his permission to talk on the phone, and before my dad could get another word in, Ran was apparently like, ‘Gotta go, Dad.’”

I smile at the confirmation that Ronan really did hang up on his dad to call me.

“That’s messed up.” Shane sighs, and I can tell he’s disappointed.

“How about this Sunday, when I talk to him, I’ll tell Ran to save some time so he can call you, too. Maybe…”—I make a contemplative face, then grin—“two minutes and thirty seconds?”

“That would be great,” Shane says sincerely. “I know you want to have as much time to talk to him as possible, but Ran’s my best friend. I miss him, too, you know?”

“Aww, I know you do,” I say, and scootch over to Shane to hug him. “He sounded pretty good on Sunday.”

Shane looks skeptical. “As much as I want to believe Ran’s on the up and up, I’ve come to realize how damn good he was at hiding the darkest parts of his life, so until I can confirm with my own eyes that he’s actually better, I’m going to choose to be cautiously optimistic.”

I understand Shane didn’t get the benefit of hearing Ronan’s voice—my only indicator for how he might be doing—so I spend some time giving my friends an update on Ronan without disclosing the more intimate things he and I talked about.

***

Thirty minutes later, everyone is much more chipper and energized after the encouraging news about Ronan’s recovery.

Still, as much fun as the evening is, and as much as I try not to be such a downer, being around my friends—who, two hours into the party are tipsy and openly making out with their respective boyfriends or girlfriends—does make me feel lonely. There’s no denying how much I miss Ronan, though I do my damnedest to take the sting out of his absence.

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