Page 18 of Edge of Unbroken

“What, you don’t trust me?” Erin asks. “I cut everyone’s hair around here.”

I grin. “Yeah, I know.”

“Oh, okay, I see how it is. My skills aren’t up to city boy’s standards,” she fires back with mock offense. “I know my way around clippers, Ran. I promise, I can handle a little fade.”

“Ronan, let Erin cut your hair, please,” my grandmother calls from the kitchen, making it very clear that this is no longer a negotiation.

“Jesus, fine,” I huff. “But can we do this somewhere I can put my knee up?”

“What’s wrong, baby boy? Are you alright?” my grandmother asks, once again popping her head out of the kitchen to study me.

I rub my knee. “Yeah, just overdid it a little bit, I think.” Now that I’ve had a minute to slow down my knee has begun to ache, getting stiff from this morning’s strenuous activity.

“I’ll tell you what, you go take a warm shower and I’ll get us set up in the kitchen. I’ll pull up a chair for you to put your leg up while I cut your hair,” Erin says warmly, and I nod.

I make my way upstairs where I shower, shave the four-day-old scruff off my face, then change into a fresh pair of jeans and a navy-blue hoodie.

“Alright, let’s see what you got,” I say when I sit in a chair in the kitchen, my right leg propped up on yet another chair while Erin drapes a towel over my shoulders.

“The good news is that your girlfriend’s a couple thousand miles away and can’t see you, so even if I mess this up, it’s not going to affect you too badly,” Erin jokes.

I make a face. “If this is your attempt at making me feel at ease, I have to disappoint you.”

Erin laughs out loud and gets started clipping my hair. To my relief, she actually does a pretty decent job and only about twenty minutes later, my hair is neatly trimmed on the sides and back. It’s longer on top with strands falling onto my forehead.

“Huh,” I say as I move the small handheld mirror from side to side, examining the tight fade on the sides of my head.

“Not bad, huh?” Erin says from behind me, her hands on her hips.

“Not bad at all.” I earn a pleased smile from her. “Okay, I guess I underestimated your skills. Thanks, Erin.” I run my left hand through my hair, messing with it until it falls just right.

“You’re welcome, Ran. Feeling a little more human?” she asks, her eyes warm.

“Yeah. Day by day,” I say, feeling my body relax. I sense my grandmother’s gaze on me when the front door opens and Thomas comes trudging in followed by Elias. The two of them drove into town to grab the mail from the post office box my grandparents rent. Because of their remote location, my grandparents don’t get mail delivered to the ranch and instead make the twice-weekly trip into town to run errands and retrieve any and all mail. We’ve been snowed in, though, and it’s been a couple of weeks since anyone made the two-hour round-trip.

Elias kicks off his boots before joining my aunt, my grandma, and me in the kitchen. “Ran, you got a letter.” He places the mail on the countertop, then hands me a padded envelope.

I immediately feel something hard inside it. “It’s from my dad,” I say, noting the return address—home—and my heart aches. I adjust the pillow my right leg had been resting on before I tear open the envelope. My heart skips a few beats when I pull out a small box and an envelope bearing my name in Cat’s beautiful handwriting. “Do you mind if I go up to my room?” I ask my grandmother, already getting up off the chair. I want to read Cat’s letter in private.

My grandma nods, and I waste no time limping upstairs where I situate myself on my bed before quickly opening the envelope to retrieve Cat’s handwritten letter to me.

Hey Sweet Boy,

I love you. Just thought I should get that out of the way first. Now, stop reading, please, and open my present. Then you can come back to this and let me explain.

Even though I want nothing more than to keep reading her beautiful words, I feel compelled to follow her directions. Smiling, I put down her letter and take her gift into my hands. It’s a small box, neatly wrapped in dark-blue paper. Recalling how carefully Cat unwrapped my birthday present to her in August, I do the same—slowly taking off each piece of tape holding the wrapping together before I open the box, revealing a thin gold necklace with a single, round pendant. It’s another saint, though definitely not St. Michael, the saint embossed on the necklace my grandmother gave me on my fourteenth birthday to protect me, and which I left with Cat in New York.

I hold the necklace in my right hand and pick up Cat’s letter with my left.

I bought this necklace at the same small jewelry store where my parents bought their wedding rings (no pressure, Romeo). The pendant is of Saint Raphael. He’s the patron saint of healing. Since you left your necklace with me—which I wear around my neck around the clock—and I don’t want to leave you unprotected while you’re away from me, I decided this is the best I can do for now. I hope it brings you some comfort, because your necklace is like a little piece of you that I get to carry around with me all the time.

Ran, I miss you so much. It feels like a huge part of me went away, but I know why you had to go, and I wish, more than anything, that you’re healing. I want you back home with me. I want to be in your arms, feel your body against mine, your lips kissing me, your hands on my skin. I want to hear your voice and smell your scent. I want to hear you laugh. I just want to be with you. It’s so hard not even being able to talk to you, and I miss reading your messages.

Everyone here misses you. Shane’s like a lost puppy without you. He’s been super mopey. Even Tori has commented on it. Zack and Vada keep telling him to throw a party, but Shane doesn’t want to. He says it’s not the same without you. He also said he had to hire someone to temporarily fill your spot at Murphy’s and that this guy “is about as useful as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.” The first time he said it I almost died laughing. Steve’s also having a hard time. I’m not telling you these things to make you feel bad or anything. We all just miss you, and we’re so worried about you. It’s just not the same without you here. There’s a huge gap. Shane barks at anyone who tries to sit in your spot on the sofa out on the deck, except for me. He allows me to sit in it, which is sweet. Shane and Steve have been great to me—a little overprotective, but great. I think they’re wanting to make sure I’m safe, which would mean they’re also protecting you in a way. Such big brothers.

Cheyenne has been so nice, too. It’s kind of freaking me out a little bit, but I guess I’ll take it. School’s the same, but I’m definitely acing my history class, thanks to your tip about schmoozing with Mrs. Jennison. Oh, I have to tell you something funny. Vada was telling me that Mr. Sampson keeps calling on you in your Calculus II class, even though you obviously haven’t been in class in forever. Vada gets such a kick out of it. Apparently this has happened more than a couple of times now. You obviously make an impression on people. I know you’ve made an impression on me.

Ran, I wish I could talk to you. I have so much I want to tell you, so many thoughts in my head. I miss your voice. I honestly can’t wait for you to come home.

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