Page 168 of Edge of Unbroken

“Why did you tell him then of all times?”

“No idea. It just… I don’t know. Things were starting to feel different,” Ronan says, his voice strained.

“Different how?”

Again, Ronan shakes his head, unsure of himself. “I don’t know. My mom was just… angrier. It was getting to the point where we would have a run-in every single time we were in the house alone together. She would hit me more and way harder; there was never a moment of peace. Things just kept escalating and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what the hell I was doing wrong.” Ronan’s voice cracks, bringing on a fresh wave of tears for me. “My brother was set to leave for college, and once he left it was going to be just my mom and me at home. I was… I was starting to wonder if I was going to survive the next year. There wasn’t going to be anything to stop her from just… just beating me to death. And, so, maybe subconsciously I just wanted to let someone know that if something happened to me… it was probably my mom. I have no idea.”

God, I want this all to end for him. I want it to be done; I want him to have needed closure.

But still, it isn’t over. Ronan continues to testify, describing violent encounter after violent encounter, the vicious abuse becoming increasingly frequent and brutal. But what’s worse is that I know that Mr. Cooley will soon begin reviewing the surveillance footage.

Mercifully, the judge calls a lunch recess. I’m grateful for the opportunity to take a deep breath, for the brief respite this break affords Ronan before the most difficult part of the day commences. Not that any of this has been easy for Ronan, but I don’t imagine seeing the abuse replayed will do anything but devastate him.

Ronan leaves the witness stand and is met by the female attorney who leads him out of the courtroom. And finally, Ronan’s eyes find and lock on me as he passes me. The pain I see in those beautiful green eyes shatters my heart into a million pieces.

“He’s doing great,” the prosecutor tells Frank when we gather in the hallway outside the courtroom.

“This stuff is horrible to listen to,” Frank says with an audible sigh, expressing exactly how we all feel. “I’ve seen the surveillance from the last year and the things she did to him, but hearing him describe it for some reason makes it a thousand times worse. I have no words.”

Steve groans, running his hands roughly across his face. “I honestly don’t know how much more I can handle.”

“I have to warn you,” Mr. Cooley says, “it’s going to get worse. I’m going to start playing the surveillance footage when we’re back. It’s hard to watch even for an outsider, and I have a feeling it’s going to crack Ronan wide open. But we’re making great progress; hopefully we’ll be done by the end of today and I won’t have to drag him back into court tomorrow, but no guarantees.”

“I don’t know if he’d be able to handle another day of this,” Frank says, his brow creased.

“I’m doing my best to get through it as quickly as possible,” the attorney says.

“Will there be cross-examination of Ronan?” my mom asks.

I hadn’t even thought about Rica’s lawyer getting to ask Ronan questions. Immediately my heart is in a vise again.

“I don’t know,” Mr. Cooley says. “He’s certainly entitled to cross Ronan, but it would be a stupid move, if you ask me.”

“Why?” Shane asks.

“Because juries don’t appreciate lawyers tearing apart victims of child abuse,” the attorney answers matter-of-factly, his lips pressed together. “Especially when they’re as credible as Ronan.”

Darren Cooley excuses himself then, joining Ronan and the young female lawyer in the small room off the side of the courtroom while the rest of us walk across the street to get a quick bite to eat. None of us are particularly hungry, the heaviness of Ronan’s testimony leaving us without an appetite.

***

“That was my condom,” Steve confesses on our way back from lunch. Neither of us finished our sandwiches. “When Mom beat him the night before Ran told Shay… that was my condom she found. Ran never brought any girls home. Well, not until he met you,” Steve says with a smile at me.

Frank wraps his arm around his oldest son’s shoulder, pulling him toward him. “Don’t beat yourself up, bud. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Easier said than done, Dad. I can’t believe I didn’t know. Like, I knew, but I didn’t know… How is that possible?” I’ve heard him ask himself this question repeatedly these past several months.

Shane sighs, holding Tori’s hand tightly. “Dude, I’m with you. Fuck, I really did know. He told me outright, but I never expected… all of this. I had no fucking clue and, fuck, it’s tearing me apart, man.”

“I don’t want to go back in there,” Vada says quietly. She’s been more subdued today than she was even after her breakup, her small frame seemingly weighed down by thousands of pounds.

Steve takes and squeezes Vada’s hand. “I know. But he needs us.” He pulls her toward him comfortingly.

I lean against my mom, seeking comfort the moment I retake my seat on the wooden bench. I have no doubt that this second half of Ronan’s testimony will be even more jarring than the first.

I sit and glance at Rica, dressed today in navy-blue dress pants, a white blouse, and a beige jacket. Her hair falls gently down her back while she looks down at her yellow notepad, though she glances at Ronan briefly as he retakes his seat in the witness stand. Rica’s attorney whispers something into her ear, and she nods.

Mr. Cooley begins his questioning. “Hi Ronan. I just want to remind you that you’re still under oath, okay? So, just keep answering my questions as best you can.”

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