Page 158 of Edge of Unbroken

“What are you planning on majoring in?” Mr. Cooley asks.

Ronan shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never really thought about what I want to do with my life.”

“Why not?”

“Because… because I was always more worried about surviving the day, the week, the month, the year… I had never actually envisioned myself at college.”

“Aside from Columbia University, where else did you apply?” Mr. Cooley asks.

“Nowhere,” Ronan says matter-of-factly. “I submitted my early admission application to Columbia in August. My plan was to submit some additional applications to some other schools later last fall, but… I obviously didn’t get around to it. My head just wasn’t in the right place. I didn’t… I couldn’t focus on that.” Ronan swallows hard.

Mr. Cooley nods. “Where else were you going to apply?”

“UC San Diego and UC Berkeley in California, the University of Montana, and maybe a couple more schools in New York.”

“California and Montana?”

“Yeah. I wanted… For a while there my plan was to get as far away from New York as possible once I turned eighteen.” Ronan sighs.

“Why?”

“To get away from my mother.”

“You make it sound like your plans changed?”

“Yeah, well, once I met my girlfriend I started second-guessing that plan. I really don’t want to be that far away from her,” Ronan says sweetly, though his voice is heavy. I wish I could go up to him and hug him, even just call out his name and let him know I’m here.

The more I listen to Ronan, the more I realize how much of his life, his everyday decisions, were shaped by his home life. When asked about why he began playing ice hockey, Ronan tells the story of his neighbor openly asking Rica about Ronan’s black eye. The very next day, Ronan’s mom signed him up for hockey.

“Hockey is an extremely physical sport. Black eyes, broken noses, busted teeth, that’s pretty much a given when you play hockey,” Ronan tells the attorney. “It’s a great excuse for injuries.”

I have anahamoment when Ronan is asked about his job at Murphy’s and why he began working at only fifteen. I always figured it was because Shane’s parents own the place and Ronan would naturally want to work with his best friend. Turns out, Ronan’s decision to pick up a job when his brother never did was once again guided by his desire to spend as little time around his mother as possible, and his fierce yearning to pay for his own things and be independent from his parents.

“You look like you work out a lot. Is that a fair conclusion?” Mr. Cooley asks.

“Yes.”

“What do you do?”

“When I work out?”

“Yes. Do you go to a gym? Lift weights? What do you do?”

Ronan nods. “Yeah, at the gym. Lots of weightlifting, cardio, all of that.”

“Ronan, how tall are you?”

“Uh, last time I checked I was six-two.”

“And how much do you weigh?”

“Not totally sure. Probably around a hundred and seventy-five pounds?” Ronan wavers. “I haven’t stepped on a scale in a while. Not really a priority.”

“You’re obviously really in shape,” the attorney says with an air of admiration. “How often do you work out?”

“Five to six times a week. If I can’t make that happen, I try to at least go for a run.”

“What is the reason you work out so much?”

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