Page 134 of Edge of Unbroken

Without being able to stop them, tears start falling. I let them, releasing all the fear, the pain, the worry I kept locked away inside. The feel of him is so familiar yet so new and raw after the long absence. His clean, masculine scent is as comforting as the heat of his warm body and as arousing as his lips on mine. He kisses me deeply, sensually, tasting me like his survival depends on it, and I press myself closer against him, try to melt into him, craving the physical contact.

“Okay, Kitty Cat, leave some for us,” Vada says from behind me.

“Some things never change,” Ronan mutters against me. He kisses my lips softly again before pulling back and smiling at Vada.

I frown, not wanting to let him go just yet, but Ronan reaches for my hand and interlaces our fingers before moving toward Vada, Shane, Zack, Summer, Tori, and Steve, who are standing in the living room, positively beaming.

Vada bounds toward Ronan and throws her arms around his neck, letting out a squeal of delight as he gives her a one-armed hug with me by his side, still holding my hand tightly. Seems Ronan isn’t so eager to let me go either.

Shane pulls Ronan against himself, holding on to him tightly for quite a while.

“You’re gonna have to let me go or Tori might get jealous,” Ronan jokes.

Shane chuckles, then finally releases Ronan, and I think I glimpse Shane wipe a stray tear from his cheek.

“Fuck, I can’t believe you’re here,” Shane says, more emotional than I’ve ever seen him as he gives Ronan an approving once-over. “You look really fucking good, man. Good as new,” he says with a nod and a smile.

He’s right, Ronan looks amazing. Tall and gorgeous as ever. His dark jeans hug his hips perfectly, and even though he’s wearing a white hoodie I can tell he’s regained the muscle mass he lost during his recovery because the fabric contours his muscular shoulders, arms, and chest before tapering off and fitting more loosely around his sculpted abs. Just the thought results in a powerful wish to get him alone, to undress him, to feel him.

“When the hell did you get back?” Shane asks, leading the way out to the deck.

Ronan takes a seat in his usual spot on the rattan sectional and immediately pulls me into his lap. “Yesterday,” he says while I lean back against him. He slides his arms around me, pulling me even closer.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home?” I ask him. I study his face. The scar around his left eye is much lighter than it was five months ago, and he’s as perfect as ever. His hair is freshly cut, just the way I love it—tightly cropped in the back, which feels amazing against my fingers as they gently graze the back of his neck again and again—and longer in the front with strands that would fall over his forehead if his hair wasn’t styled just right like it is tonight. My eyes flicker to his full lips, craving more of him, but I contain my desires—for now—because I know everyone will want their fill of him.

He notices my eyes lingering, and there it is, that sexy half smile I’ve missed so much.

“I honestly didn’t know I was coming home until last Wednesday, and I didn’t want to make you antsy during your trip to North Carolina, so I didn’t call you when I got my phone back.” He strokes his thumb across my cheek. “Cat, I missed you so much,” he says, and to my absolute delight he brushes his soft lips against mine.

“So, like, how are you doing?” Zack stammers. “Are you… feeling better at all or…”

Ronan raises his brows at him. “You mean do I still want to off myself?”

Everyone falls silent.

“Yeah, I mean…” Zack mutters, fidgeting.

“I’m okay,” Ronan says. He gives me a little squeeze. “Guys, please don’t walk on eggshells around me.Please. I’m still me. Nothing has changed. The only thing that’s different is that…”—he swallows hard—“that you all know now. And I fuckinghatethat you know. I never meant for this to happen.”

“We’re honestly just glad to have you back,” Vada says, then shakes her head. “I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through. But I guess we’ll find out at the trial when—”

“Wait, what?” Ronan goes rigid under me. “You’re not going to the trial.”

“Yeah, we are,” Vada says defiantly. I frown at her forwardness. She has no filter, and I worry she might inadvertently say something to trigger Ronan. “Zack, Shay, and Steve are witnesses, and the rest of us are going, too,” she says, and looks around at all of us.

“The fuck you are,” Ronan says, an edge to his voice. He looks around the group and is met with silence. “No, seriously, don’t do this.” He shifts me out of his lap to get up.

“Ran, like it or not, we’re going to support you through this damn trial,” Shane says with authority in his voice. “You don’t have to do this alone. I hate the fact that I knew what was happening to you and I didn’t do shit about it.”

“None of this is your fault,” Ronan says through gritted teeth as he paces the deck in front of me, raking his hands through his hair.

“It’s not yours, either.” Shane takes a step toward his best friend. “Ran, we already know what happened. It’s not going to change anything, okay?”

“You don’t knoweverything,” Ronan shouts. “You don’t know all the fucking details. You guys are already acting like I might break apart on you any second. How do you think you’ll feel when you find out my mother choked me with a belt until I passed out when I was four? Or that she withheld food from me for two days straight when I was six? Or any of the other fun things she decided to torture me with? It’s not a god damn movie. This shit… it really happened to me. I can’t even talk with my fucking therapist about it, and you want to hear all the gory fucking details?”

I’m not the only one to gasp audibly, a sensation as though someone zapped me with a taser making my body stiffen. His mom choked him with a belt until he passed out? When he was only four years old? Already I’m doubting my ability to listen to everything Ronan has endured without having a physical reaction, without getting violently sick to my stomach or breaking down in sobs. God, I can’t fathom what he has endured.

Shane approaches his best friend cautiously, slowly closing the distance between them. “I get why you’re scared,” he says, his voice calm but firm. “But we’re not going to feel any differently about you. If anything, you’re a fucking badass for surviving what you went through. Never, not once, have I ever thought you’re weak or that you’d break apart. Ran, I know you. And I know you will hide this shit away until the end of your days and it will eat you up from the inside. You don’t have to shoulder this alone. Not anymore.”

---