Page 132 of Edge of Unbroken

But I didn’t. Selfishly, I wanted to see her face when she realized I was home, so I just buried my face in my pillow and inhaled Cat’s scent while listening to the silence in my room. The calm, muffled voices of my dad and Penny traveled upstairs. Last night, for the first time in my life, I felt at peace in this house, hopeful that this was what it would feel like from now on. Safe.

***

I woke up a couple of hours later, not to a nightmare but to Steve standing in the doorway to our shared bathroom, staring at me.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked him, my voice thick with sleep.

He laughed and started toward my bed. “Making sure it’s really you, asshole.” I sat up and we hugged. “Dad just said, ‘Go upstairs, I have a surprise for you,’ and I was looking around my room trying to figure out what he was talking about and then I spotted your ass sleeping like Cinderella,” he chuckled.

“Sleeping Beauty, man. Get your fairy tales straight.”

“Whatever. God, it’s so good to have you home. Does Cat know?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t even know I was coming home until Dad told me on Wednesday, and she’s been gone all week.” I considered him for a moment. “So where are you coming from?”

“Murphy’s. I was hanging out with Zack and Shane.”

I grinned at him. “Must be nice. Fuck, I can’t wait to see everyone.”

“Yeah, Shane is going to shit himself when he sees you,” Steve laughed.

“So, how have you been? Are you doing alright with the, you know, your breakup?”

Steve and I have known Vada and Zack pretty much all our lives; we grew up together, and almost two years ago Steve and Vada’s relationship turned into something a lot more than just friendship. I know Steve really loved her. Probably still does.

“I’m alright,” he said, looking to the ground. “I mean, it’s hard; I can’t just shut my feelings for Vada off overnight, but I know it’s for the best. My head hasn’t been in the right place; it’s been messing with our relationship. And honestly, if I had been in Boston we probably would’ve broken up months ago.”

I nodded at him, feelings of guilt bubbling up inside me. “I’m sorry, Stevie. I know you’ve had a lot of deal with. I wish it never happened,” I said, and by “it” I obviously meant him finding me on the ground the day my mother almost ended me.

“You need to stop putting all that weight on your shoulders,” he said. “You didn’t do anything. It happenedto you. You’re not responsible for what happened between Vada and me, just like you’re not responsible for…” He didn’t say it out loud, but I knew what he meant.

“I’m working on it,” I said and sighed. “I have a lot of unlearning to do. Conditioning’s a bitch.”

“Yeah.” Steve sighed, too, and we stayed silent for a while. “Are you ready for the trial?” he finally asked.

My stomach was immediately in knots. “No. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. Honestly, I’m scared shitless, but I guess I don’t have a choice.”

He nodded again. “I guess not. Have you talked to the D.A. yet?”

“A couple of times while I was in Montana, but I guess he’ll want to prep me before…”

“Yeah, probably,” Steve said, and looked at me. “Are you doing okay?”

“Sometimes,” I said. “It comes in waves. I have good moments, but they slip through my fingers; I have a hard time holding on to them.”

“It’ll take time. Just know I’m always here for you, and so is Dad, and Shane, and… Cat.”

My lips tugged into a smile, the knots in my stomach replaced by anticipation. “I can’t wait to see her.”

“She’s going to freak,” Steve chuckled.

“I’mgoing to freak,” I said, and yawned.

“Alright, get some sleep little brother,” he said and went to his own room. He left both our bathroom doors wide open like he used to when we were little and we’d talk until one of us finally passed out.

***

I didn’t wake up until ten today, and even then I took my time getting out of bed, instead reading through the text messages Cat sent me while I was in Montana. When I finally got my phone back Thursday morning and turned it on, I truly just intended to spend a few minutes… maybe hours… staring at pictures of Cat. But once it powered up, my phone kept buzzing and buzzing with text message after text message from Cat.

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