“This is the anger part of grief, right?” Megan asks. She’s dead serious.

“It’s thewhat is my lifepart. Is that a part?”

“I think that might be the part between shock and anger. I’m not sure.”

“He wanted to give me a hug.” I glance over at Megan.

“I know. I heard. It was a little sweet, actually. He honestly didn’t know you wanted the promotion.”

“I’m not sure that’s the point. It does help. But this is one more trip around the same old, same old with him. It hits a lot harder this time.” I sit up. “Am I being petty?”

“No. Not at all. You invested six years of your professional life at Barnes. He came in a few months ago, and already he’s stepping ahead of you. He should have thought of you. He didn’t.”

I nod.

“At least he didn’t intentionally overshadow you,” she adds. “As much as this feels like one more time he stole your thunder, I have to say, historically, he’s never shown the kind of self-awareness and remorse he’s showing this time.”

“I know. It would be so much more cut and dried if he were simply the cold-hearted man I assumed he was before I discovered the softer side of him.”

“Would it, though?” Megan stares at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Would you rather not have met this side of Logan? Would you rather have a life without the feelings you’ve started to have for him? Would you rather not have had the nights when the two of you hung out? The flirting? The way he tries to impress you? The way he looks at you?”

“I thought you were team Olivia,” I tell Megan. “Weren’t you the one telling me in time I’d get over him?”

“That was before he showed up here.”

I shake my head.

“I’m one hundred million percent team Olivia,” Megan says. “And part of being on that team means I’m always looking out for what’s best for you. Logan did not intentionally sabotage your potential promotion. He feels awful about you being overlooked. He cares about you, Olivia. And that whole speech about how he’d just wait in your chair until you were ready for him … ? And he’d seriously give you his apartment—Gran’s old place—just because you want it? He’d move here to have a view of the parking garage just so you could have the apartment you want? That’s pretty sweet.”

“Until next time,” I tell her.

“Next time?”

“Next time we both want something and he steps over me to get it.”

She’s quiet. There’s nothing she can say about that reality. She’s lived through my second-place life long enough to know I’m not exaggerating.

“I guess the question comes down to one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Would you rather live your life without Logan, competing with him at every turn, or would you rather sometimes come in second and have him rooting for you, celebrating with you, and sharing the spoils of his wins?”

I stare at Megan. She stares back.

“I’m not saying he’s off the hook,” she adds. “One visit to clear the air and an offer of his awesome apartment will not be good enough to fix the damage on this one. But … if he were to somehow continue to show you how much you mean to him, and he continues to try to make things right? Well, my vote is to take stock of what really matters most. Is it winning? Getting this promotion? Or would winning be cultivating the relationship Logan and you were starting to build with one another? He’s still the guy who secretly paid Lynette’s rent.”

“I’m still grateful for that.”

“I know you are. That’s not the point. What matters is the type of man he is. Only you truly know what he is at the core. Is he dancing on your grave? Or is he dying a little because he was a part of hurting you?”

I sigh. A fresh wave of tears comes to my eyes. I’m so sick of crying already, and it’s only been a few hours since I left Barnes.

“Cassidy!” I suddenly remember my obligation to pick up my niece.