“I can’t,” she said hoarsely.
“Why the fuck not?” Alexei exploded. He was across the table from her once more, leaning his hands on the back of a chair.
Probably to stop himself from coming around her to wring her lying, deceitful neck.
“Because it all looks so beautiful.”
Salem stared at her for a long moment. “You can’t eat the food because it looks too beautiful? I can mess it up a bit if you like.”
“It would still be too beautiful for me,” she told him quietly. “Because anything would be too good for me after what I did.”
There was silence.
Finally, they understood.
Although she didn’t know why they hadn’t understood that before.
“Are you saying you won’t eat this food because it’s too good for you?” Salem asked quietly.
“Far more than I deserve. I don’t deserve any of it.”
“That’s why you haven’t been eating?” Roman asked.
She glanced up at him. Why did he look like he was in pain? Was he remembering all of the stuff she’d done wrong?
Was it giving him a stomachache? She had a stomachache too.
She nodded.
“That’s utter bullshit,” Alexei spat out. “Is this . . . are you punishing yourself by not eating?”
Tamsyn frowned. “I didn’t think of it like that. No. No, I’m not because when I’m punished everything is forgiven afterward. And everything can’t be forgiven. Because what I did was too terrible to be forgiven. I don’t understand why I’m here and why you’re so concerned about me eating. Shouldn’t you want me to starve? Shouldn’t you kick me out? Yell at me? Why am I here?”
Roman glanced over at Salem. “Fix. This. Now.”
Salem stood and she couldn’t help but flinch back. It wasn’t like she really thought he would hurt her. But she wouldn’t blame him if he did.
He stalked around to where she sat and moved her chair so she faced him.
To her shock, he reached down and lifted her onto her feet, walking her backward until she hit the wall. Then his hand came out to rest lightly on her throat.
Unlike the other times when he’d done this, there was no heat in his eyes, he didn’t hold her loosely.
This was firm.
It was dangerous.
A pure threat.
So he’d finally figured out what to do with her. They had come to the conclusion to take her out.
All she hoped was that they made it quick. She forced her body to relax, to not fight back. She hoped that instinct didn’t kick in, although it might.
Closing her eyes, she tried to slow her breathing, but it was so fast and loud.
“Open your eyes and look at me.”
No.