To her surprise, Salem let go of her neck.
Okay, so he got it. He understood.
But instead of walking away he lifted her up into his arms, holding her against his chest as he strode back to the dining table.
“Roman, can you reheat her dinner,” Salem ordered. “Alexei, she’ll sit on your lap.”
“I don’t understand this.”
“You don’t have to understand it yet,” Salem told her as he lowered her onto Alexei’s lap.
Immediately, strong arms circled her waist and she knew that she wasn’t going anywhere.
Salem crouched in front of her, holding her chin firmly. “All you have to know is that we love you. We want you. And we aren’t going to allow you to go anywhere.”
“You’re staying right here until you acknowledge who you belong to,” Alexei said.
“And until that time comes. Until you accept that we love and want you, we’ll be in charge. We will do the thinking,” Salem told her.
“Yeah, because when you’re allowed to think you get yourself into a whole lot of trouble,” Alexei told her. “Like getting kidnapped by one of the most wanted criminals in the world.”
“He was my father.”
“So?” Salem said. “And for the record, just because someone shares your blood doesn’t make them family.”
He could say that again.
She’d sometimes wondered if she was evil because she’d come from evil. In fact, for a long time she’d thought that. Some of the things she’d done . . . they would haunt her forever.
“But I’m like him. I’m not a good person.”
“Who said that?” Salem asked.
“Uh, well, I did.”
“You can’t have since you’re not allowed to do any thinking,” Salem told her.
She might have expected that sort of statement from Alexei, but it seemed that Salem was channeling him tonight.
“But, also, you are not a bad person,” Alexei told her. “You are not him. He was a monster.”
“And so am I.” Was that it? Did they not realize she was a terrible person? She’d have thought it was obvious when they learned of her betrayal. “I have done terrible things. I tried to do my best to keep everyone safe. Where I could, I never harmed innocents. But who knows what destruction I left in my wake.”
“Did you want to do any of that stuff?” Roman asked.
She startled. She hadn’t even noticed him coming back into the room. He held a tray with her plate of food on it. He set it down and then stared at her earnestly.
“Well?” he demanded.
“No! Of course not.” She shook her head. “I was trying to keep the village safe. But was that the right thing to do? Did I sacrifice other people to save the ones who had looked after me? I don’t . . . I don’t know. I never knew what to do.”
“You did your best to mitigate the risk to any innocents while keeping your friends safe,” Salem told her. “What else could you have done?”
“I could have killed him. I tried once and he had one of his men hold me while another one beat me. I couldn’t move for days. He locked me in this small dark room that he had in his house. There was a trap door under a rug. It was so tiny down there. Dark and hot. And worst of all, I could hear him upstairs, moving around. I knew I had to stay quiet, though, or he’d keep me in there longer.”
“That’s it!” Alexei yelled. “I am going to resurrect that bastard and then burn him all the way to fucking hell.”
60