Page 44 of Sin of Silence

Shaun signed,this feels awkward.

He let out a growling laugh and she stared at his lips in wonder. The sounds he made meant different things. It wasn’t just one sound for everything. He had a barking laugh and a soft laugh. He had an angry growl and a sexy growl. Actually… all of his growls were sexy, but they had different meanings.

I like communicating with you this way, he admitted.

As the silence surrounded them, the warm glow of the fireplace bathing them, Shaun agreed, there was more intimacy in soundless communication. They were wrapped in a private bubble that belonged to only them.

I like it too, she told him.

Jozef relaxed against the headboard, pushing himself into the pillows and getting comfortable. He was completely confident in his nudity, unfazed that his now flaccid cock rested on his thighs. Shaun sneaked as many glances as she could without being completely obvious.

Talk to me, he signed.

Shaun grabbed a pillow and pressed it against her stomach.What do you want to know?

Anything. Everything. Tell me about your life in Canada.

Shaun thought about saying no; telling him that talking about her home country was too raw. Especially with her kidnapper. But she reconsidered. She felt the desire to share parts of her life with him. It couldn’t hurt. Maybe he would hear the love and longing in her words. Understand that it was wrong to take her away from the places and people she loved. Maybe he would let her go.

I have a cat, she signed.

He grinned, his face creasing in humour, dimples flashing in his cheeks.I remember the cat. His name is F-I-T-Z-Y and he’s a big orange tabby who eats the neighborhood birds.

Shaun stared at him, surprised he remembered the things she’d told him during their desperate van ride into the forest. She hadn’t thought he was listening.

What I didn’t tell you was how I came to own him.She grinned fondly at the memory.He somehow got into the hospital during a night shift. He was very mischievous, leading the security guards on a merry chase. I could hear updates on the PA system. Cat spotted in radiology. Cat is now in kinesiology.

Jozef laughed with her, mesmerizing her with his easy joy. She wondered if he was always like this when he was at home or if relaxation was rare for him.

Shaun continued her story.Of course, I had to adopt the cat after listening to his hospital escapades all night…

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jozef was in trouble.

He was falling for his fiancé, which was a problem. He could have no weaknesses in his line of work. Mafia wasn’t what it used to be, back when there were rules to govern behaviour. When it was a brotherhood. Now there were insidious commonalities among the vicious young mobsters who worked according to their own rules while attempting to set themselves apart. Family was now fair game, human trafficking was wildly popular and substance abuse was rampant. The brotherhood still existed. Krystoff insisted that his own organization observe the old rules. They did not target family; they did not peddle in flesh and they were controlled at all times while on the job.

Jozef lived somewhere between worlds. He had to be as harsh, brutal and unfeeling as the rest of his contemporaries if he wanted to stay on top of the game. Any weakness would make him a target. Drugs and alcohol were rampant but he limited himself to the occasional drink, joint, or line of coke.

He gazed down at Shaun who was curled on her side, pressed against his leg, her head tucked into his hip. He shifted until he was leaning over her and able to see more of her lovely face. He brushed his fingers down her ebony cheek and over her plush lips. She was so beautiful it made him ache. It wasn’t her outward beauty that captivated him, though she was certainly attractive, but her inner glow. It radiated out of her as an energy filled with kindness and purpose.

She epitomized everything he couldn’t be, but he was discovering he wanted in his life. He wanted to put her personality in a jar and keep it with him, so he always had her, even when they were apart. He knew keeping her was selfish. He could have found a way to keep her alive and let her go. He could put her on an airplane back to Canada right now and she would be safe on the other side of the world. Safe from him. Safe from his family.

He wouldn’t do it. Selfishly, he wanted to keep her forever. He wanted to hold onto everything that made Shaun special. He couldn’t bring himself to let her go. They’d only known each other a week, but he was captivated. He could feel his world shifting irrevocably and he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

“Hey.”

Jozef looked down. She was blinking sleepily up at him with a quizzical look. He must’ve woken her when he touched her cheek. He looked at her, wanting to tell her to go back to sleep but not wanting to stop touching her to make the signs.

She wiggled against him and closed her eyes, sighing deeply. He thought she went back to sleep, but then she spoke, her voice quiet and serious, “What does it feel like to kill someone?”

Jozef froze at the unexpected question. Her eyes were open now, and she tilted her head so she could look at him. Her gaze was curious rather than accusing. Jozef thought about what to say. Did he tell her the truth, or did he tell her something that might make her feel better? Did he know her well enough to know what she might find comforting?

Maybe it was good that she knew about him, knew how rotten his soul was. She should know exactly who she would be marrying. And if she didn’t like it, she would have to learn to live with it, because she wasn’t going anywhere.

Jozef twisted until he was half facing her and she could clearly see his hands. She lifted her head off the pillow to watch as he signed.I was sixteen when I became Krystoff’s enforcer. I was young, cocky, full of myself. I had this friend, another young guy, M-A-X, who worked the streets with me. He was one of our recruiters. We grew close. Played video games together, worked together, partied together. I ate meals at his house, prepared by his grandmother. I took their food and their friendship.

“Oh god,” she whispered, as though she knew what was coming. He didn’t stop.

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